Exciting projects

As a Mommy, I am signed up for many different daily e-mails about how to make your child's life amazing and how to make them a freakin' genius.  They are full of crafty ideas that are intended to stimulate the brain while proving what an amazing mother you are.

Most days, I'm lucky if I get a shower in, let alone a chance to eat.

However, this was the e-mail I got today.  Another time consuming project, but this is one I can totally get behind.

Mapping Friends

Target Age:

Early One-Year Old

Materials You Will Need:

map, photos, glue

What To Do:

Your child may enjoy seeing where family and friends live. Place a map of your country on the wall of your child's room. Take a photo of each person and adhere it on the map showing where each lives. Point to the photos regularly, telling your child the name and location of each person.

Variations:

Place a special sticker on each place and person you and your child visit in the future.

So!  I am totally going to do this one with Roland.  However, it will likely have to wait until we move, when we have a bit more space.  Until then, though, I'm going to start gathering up pictures.

To our friends and family and other loved ones: If you want to be involved in this project, send me a picture that you'd like me to use!  Especially if you are doing something fun and exciting and awesome.  I'll print them off over the summer, and come the fall, they'll all get posted on Mr. Roland's wall.  If you want your lovely mug on the wall, e-mail me at singeraprildawn @ gmail.com.

And now that I know that he will sit in his playpen and play quietly for like an hour at a time...maybe I'll be able to do more of these cool little projects!  AND shower.

The world will thank me.

The art of Kumihimo

As you all know by now, I've kind of gotten involved in the SCA.  And when I say I kind of gotten involved, I mean that I've kind of jumped into ALL THE THINGS.  I've been volunteering whenever and wherever I can, I've been learning as much as I can (although not nearly as much as I'd like.)  And I have been doing as many Arts and Science things as I can.

Seriously.  In the last six months, I've probably picked up eight new crafty things to play with.  This is totally awesome, because it means I always have something to do with my hands when I need busy work (of course, with my crappy ass joints, sometimes I can't really do much at all) and I enjoy having something pretty that I've made.

Recently, I picked up a kumihimo loom.  Well, two of them, actually.  A square one for making flat braids and a round one for the round braids.

I love it.

It's pretty and simple and elegant.  I haven't done much yet.  I used the rattail that came in the kit to make a little key ring and now I'm making a really lovely 16-strand braid that can be used for...something.  Maybe a purse handle.  I dunno yet.

Kumihimo is a Japanese form of braid making.  Wiki has a little bit to say about it.  It's simple and it really makes some beautiful braids.

It really is a lot easier than I anticipated.  Basically, with this kit, you just move the strings from one side of the loom to the other.  I bought this kit from Amazon, and I'm really pleased with it.  It comes with the loom, a little booklet, eight bobbins, and some rattail to play with.  For $12.00, it's a pretty awesome deal, at least if you want to give it a try.

Eventually, I plan on making myself one of these.

Obviously, this loom is a little more complicated.  You have to use weighted bobbins on your thread, as well as a weight on your braid to keep everything nice and even.  I think I could pretty easily make one, and it would make for an awesome conversation piece at events!

Of course, the one I currently have makes for nice and easy travel fun.  :)

Anyway.  Definitely something that is worth looking into, if you enjoy different textiles and you are looking for a new crafty thing.

I got this

Tonight, I sat down and waded through my school stuff.  Yes, this is the kind of thing that an adviser should help me with, but really, I'd rather do it on my own.

As of right now, provided my History class transfers from UMUC...I have 13 classes (plus secondary licensure classes) before I graduate with my English Teaching degree.  That means that I could absolutely be finished with my degree in two years.

This idea is slightly terrifying, to be entirely honest.

I didn't do well my first time in college.  I didn't have a major, and I was too busy socializing to go to class.  I had a hard time focusing, because I didn't feel like I had any purpose.  After a year, I was on academic suspension.  Years later, when I got my shit together and I wanted to go back to school, I couldn't.  I had student loans in default that had to be dealt with, and then I had to jump through the hoops to be readmitted.

I started back in the fall of 2010, after 8 years away.  I left UofM at that point with a 2.13 GPA.

Now, after several years of taking part-time classes (and a year away) I have a 3.18.  I've had A's and B's in every class...mostly A's, aside from Math and Biology.  I have rocked school hardcore.  This time, I have a purpose and I have a goal in mind.

It's still a little terrifying.

In a few years, I could actually be entering the work force as a "real" adult, with a legitimate degree and everything.  I feel called to teaching, and I think I would do well with it.

If I decide to double major in Teaching and Creative Writing, I have three years left.  At this point, this will likely be what I do.  Even though it means taking two years of a foreign language, it would probably be good for me.

So that is where I stand right now.  I can't wait to get back to classes in the fall.  I have two more classes to take to satisfy my general education requirements, and then it's the race to the finish line.  This will mean a lot of literature classes and a lot of writing classes.  I think I can handle this.

No.  Strike that.  I know that I can handle this.

Moments in Time

Several years ago, a dear friend of mine got pregnant. She didn't know it until she was several months along. For some reason, after she got pregnant, I started to have this weird obsession. I would do all this research online about different horrible things that could happen during pregnancy. What the statistics were.


At any given point, I knew what the probability of the baby surviving if it was born early was.


I don't know why I did it. In my mind, I was worried that something horrible would happen, and I wanted to be prepared. I wanted to know how to support my friends if the worst happened.


It didn't, of course. She had this absolutely gorgeous this girl who has turned into an amazing child. I was in the delivery room when she was born, and it was one of the most beautiful moments I've ever witnessed. Throughout her entire labor I had this, 'Holy hell, I never want to have kids...' thing going on. As soon as she was born, it went to, '...Wow. I want a baby. Like, right now. Heeeey, that doctor is cute...'


When I got pregnant, I was terrified. All I could think about was all of the horrible things that could possibly maybe happen. Of course there was the chance that nothing would go wrong...but what if it did? I didn't know if I was strong enough to survive a tragedy like that.


Of course, there were no difficulties. Roland is painfully healthy. He's smart and beautiful and amazing.


And you know what? I still worry. Every day, I swallow back a tiny bit of fear that something bad will happen to him. Life happens, and sometimes, no matter how hard we try--no matter how many vegetables I make him eat, or how many prayers we say at bed time--the unbearable hits us in the face.


Honestly, it makes me cry just sitting here and thinking about it.


I can't watch movies any more that center around dead children or dead babies or children or babies who have been horribly injured. It makes me hurt too much for the fictional parents and families who have to go through that.


I read this article today on cnn- http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/27/living/parenting-emily-rapp/index.html?hpt=hp_c3 Part of me wants to read her book. Another part of me knows that getting through it will be too hard for me. The author at one point in the interview says:


"I hear this a lot from parents, and it's like how is this in any way helpful? "Looking at your life makes me feel blessed." Which is another way of saying "I'm glad I'm not you.""


Is it wrong? To feel sympathy and pain for another person while at the same time, being grateful that you aren't in their shoes? Isn't that normal and human? I can see how that comment might hurt...and I can see how it would make a person angry. But most of us don't know what to say. We're busy silently counting our blessings while desperately trying to not show on our faces that we are relieved our children are safe.


I don't really know what to say to someone in this situation. All I can say is 'I am so sorry' and 'I love you. If I can do anything, please tell me.'


All I know is every time I read a story about something horrible happening, I hug my son and I give him a kiss. I cling to him and try to get him to stay still for a few minutes so I can show him how much I love him. Life is short, moments are fleeting. Children grow up so fast, and before you know it they're running and then in school and then they're off to college.


Hold tight to the moments you have. No matter how healthy your child is. Even if you have an abundance of moments, and you aren't one of the unlucky few to be cut short...savor everything you have.

What are you afraid of?

The last few days, the internet has been chock full of debates revolving around gay marriage.  Is it right, is it wrong, should we make it legal, should we execute all gay people, should we make them all civil unions and let the churches decide if they want to marry anyone at all?  The last is the one I vote for, by the way.

Some debates have been civil and kind.  I have seen some similar red icons go up that are anti-gay marriage, in a silent protest.

Other debates have been absolutely horrifying.  Terrible, awful things have been said to one another-from both sides of the debate.

"You're a faggot who is going to get AIDS and die and you deserve to rot in hell!"

"You're an evil, hateful bigot who is probably hiding your own latent homosexual feelings deep inside!"

There have been some pretty horrible things thrown around.

Then there are many of us who wait, patiently, for the day that the rest of the country wakes up and realizes what they've been doing and what they've been saying.  I'm about as supportive of gay marriage as a person can get...and I'm starting to realize that there is only so much yelling I can do.

When someone tells me that gay marriage should be banned because the Bible says so, I'm still going to call them on it.  'Do you cut your hair?  Do you wear a poly-cotton blend?  Do you love bacon (really, who doesn't?)  Do you believe that women should be property, and we should all own slaves?  Have you stoned your neighbor lately for working on Sunday?'

You can't throw the bible at this topic and not at all the others.  You can't hide behind the words in Leviticus without upholding everything.

Doesn't that seem a little unfair?  Really.  No matter what side of the topic you land on, step back for a moment from your preconceived notions.  Is it fair to pick from the bible what topics you will follow, and which ones you will demand that your neighbors follow?  No matter how squicky you might think gay marriage is--is it fair?  Do we have the right to judge the sins of others?

We all take something different out of the Bible, and we all take something different out of religion.  My God is a God of love and compassion and beauty.  My God fills his/her children with love and calls on them to make the world a better place.  Not just in his name, and not just for her, but for all of us.

My God makes us each who we are for a reason.  She makes us left-handed or crazy good at math or clumsy or with an annoying laugh or with a beautiful face or with an ugly one.  He makes us gay or straight or bisexual or asexual or transsexual.  God makes us who we are.  God makes us that way for a reason.

Every person that God creates is beautiful.  Every person that God creates is perfect, in his or her own way.

That includes the gay people and the left-handed people and every person in between.

God doesn't hate.  Humans hate.  God loves.  God wants us to love.

Don't blame the bible for your hatred and for you desire to preserve the "sanctity of marriage."  That is solely on you, as a person.  Not on your religion.  You can blame society to an extent, but really...that is a personal choice.

So I have to ask...What are you afraid of?

I am a terrible mother...

Today, I am a terrible mother.

Roland has been extra difficult today.  Or maybe it just seems that he's being extra difficult with my current inability to do, well, anything.  I was absolutely done by about...oh...10:30 this morning.

This came right after he crawled up on my mom's seat, grabbed the remote, and before I could snag him--drop it in her cup of water.

No, the remote doesn't work properly any more.

So, I plopped him in his high chair and wandered outside to pull out the play pen.  I set it up in the living room, and he has played in there all day.  Normally, I try to let him roam around the living room and play to his hearts content, but today, I just didn't have the energy.

He got tossed in the play pen most of the day.

Yeah, I know.  I'm a terrible mother.  I gave him some stuffed animals and some toys and his blocks.

Surprisingly enough, for the most part, he was pretty happy.  He sat and played with his blocks (my child is a genius and loves to put together his legos--squeee!) for much of the day.  There were a few points where he whined, but mostly, he was content.

I think that maybe, just maybe, after my weeping breakdown right before lunch, he realized that momma was not feeling well and needed a little bit of a break.

The playpen will be staying in the house, and likely will be staying up.  Thus far, he hasn't figured out how to get out of it.  I'm sure that won't last long...but there are moments where I need to, like, pee in peace.  Or put in laundry.  Or cook some food.  You know.  Things where I can't really have a child hanging on me.

Ahhh, blissful moments of peace...

I feel bad about that today.  But I don't think he's any worse for the wear.  Plus, he got to go to Diaper DareDevils tonight, so I guess that probably made up for it.

Choose Love

If you haven't heard, the Supreme Court is discussing some very important topics over the next few days.  Today, they've tackled Proposition 8.  Tomorrow, it will be DOMA.  Now, it's likely that we won't know anything right away.  Apparently, it could take until June for the decision to be made public.

I sat here this morning, watching my son play with his little tool kit.  Someday, down the road, I will be able to sit with him and tell him about this point in history when everything changed.  Because no matter how the Supreme Court rules, it will change things for all of us.

I want my son to grow up knowing love, not hate.

Here's the thing.  There is no reason that anyone who wants to get married shouldn't be able to.  Marriage licenses are issued by the government, and theoretically, the government shouldn't care that some religions find it offensive.

Really, if we followed the biblical marriage laws, divorce would be outlawed, guys would have multiple wives, and women would essentially be property.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

I know that there are people who don't agree with me.  I know that there are people who are important to me who believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman.  It breaks my heart a little that there are people who still believe that.

Want to preserve the sanctity of marriage?  Outlaw divorce.  Outlaw 72-day marriages that are all about the glamour and hype.  Outlaw marriages of convenience.  Do these things happen with gay marriage?  Sure, absolutely...why?  Because even gay couples are human.

Of course, then there is the absurd argument that a gay couple can't possibly raise children in a safe and secure and happy home.  What a load of crap that is!  How many children do we have in the United States who would love to be adopted and have a loving home?  A child doesn't need a mother and a father in order to grow up to be a functional adult.  A child needs people who love it, who cherish it, who teach it right from wrong and who will go to the ends of the earth to ensure their child is happy and healthy and safe.

How many straight couples abuse their children, or ignore their children, or harm their children?  Again, I'm sure that there are gay couples that will do the same...but not any more than straight couples.

And then we have the, 'Gay couples can only raise gay children' argument.  Again, bullshit.

At the end of the day, why does it matter?  Why do Steve and Mary Smith CARE if Joe and Eric Jones get married?  How does it affect them at all?  Does it really make people feel better about themselves, and better about their lives, to hold others down?

Choose love.  Always.  Choose love.

Today, I changed my userpic on Facebook, and I shared every loving and affirming meme I could find.  My actions are small and insignificant, but I do what I can.  I send my support and my love and my prayers to the people who are telling their side of the story, and to the Supreme Court as they wade through a difficult decision.  Personally, I think it should be easy...but I know that it's hard for them, and I can understand why.

And I teach my son to love and not hate.

I think that's the most important thing that I can do.  To try to teach my children how to be better people, in hopes that by the time they are adults, this will be a thing of the past.