Really hoping Roland and I figure out our nighttime schedule soon. Tight now hes up every hour or so...but will happily sleep 3-4 hours at a tome during the day.
So sleepy...
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Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
The birth story
First off--I want to warn everyone that this might be full of TMI. I just want to record everything that happened, so that I have it for myself and for Roland down the road.
Monday morning, January 2nd, I woke up at about 930 in the morning and felt like maybe something was going on. I didn't really want to get up yet, so I just kind of hung around in bed for another 15 minutes or so before dragging myself off to the bathroom. I sat down to pee and when I stood up, I just kept leaking. Repeated that a few times and then sat there, really debating whether or not my water had really just broken. I finally came to the conclusion that either my water had broken or I'd lost all control of my bladder...either way, probably something I needed to see the doctor about.
I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I decided to take my time getting to the hospital. I took a nice warm shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes (and nice thick pads to catch all the the liquid that I was still leaking) before waking up my mom and letting her know my water had broken. I sent Colin a text and then called him to let him know we'd be heading down eventually. I then proceeded to call the hospital and let them know and let all of the other important parties know what was going on. Still no contractions, so we took our time puttering around the house and getting everything together before finally heading out. Luckily, Colin's family hadn't gotten on the train to head back to Iowa yet, so his mom was able to change her ticket and stay to see the baby born.
We made our way to Havre and stopped at McDonalds--I wanted to make sure I got some real food in me, just in case they decided I couldn't eat. Headed up to the hospital and got checked in where I discovered that I was the only person on the L&D floor, and they hadn't had a New Year's baby yet! Very exciting to think I might get the first baby of the New Years, although they did warn me that there was another woman coming in that afternoon to hopefully deliver.
We got all settled in my room with our overabundance of stuff and met my Mother in Law up there. Colin got there just as I was getting comfortable in my stupidly uncomfortable bed. The nurse checked me...my water had DEFINITELY broken (again, all over everything--ew) but to my dismay...I was still only 1cm dialated. Oh, and I was still not having any contractions. The nurse told me that we'd wait 12 hours from the time my water broke, and if I wasn't having any contractions, they'd start the pitocin. Ugh. I didn't really want to go that route again, but not much choice at this stage of the game.
The nurse was going to wait to do my hep-lock, since I wouldn't need the IV for quite some time. The phlebotomist came in to try to draw blood, and I had to tell her several times that I'm a hard stick. She found one vein that she thought would be ok...and after failing to get blood, I asked her to just start the IV. I'd rather have to deal with it than have them use up all my decent veins getting blood. So I got stuck in my left hand, and it wasn't too terrible.
Not long after that, the nurse gave me some good news. She'd just gotten a hold of my Doctor! He'd just gotten back from his vacation, which meant he'd be there when Roland was born. That definitely made my day.
We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and just hanging out. I still wasn't having much in the way of contractions, which was pretty frustrating, but I stayed in good spirits. After all, I was going to go home with a baby one way or another, and that was all that mattered. The family all decided to stay up at the hospital for the night. It was nice knowing they were there, just in case we needed anything. Colin would stay in my room, and my parents took over the waiting room.
10pm rolled around and they checked me again. Still only 1cm, but I had hope that the pitocin would do it's job and get the ball really rolling. The contractions started out small, but they quickly started to feel a lot more productive than the ones I'd had the last go around. By midnight, they were getting to be fairly painful, but I kept soldiering on. I was able to nap through them without too much difficulty. By 2am, they were to the point where I was having to breath through them. I called the nurse to see if she could bring me anything, and she offered me Stadol. After checking me again, of course.
Only 1-2cm. Ugh! So she got it ordered and got it going, which definitely helped...although the stadol gave me some insane dream/hallucination type things. Like, I was stuck in some kind of giant flea market that was filled with decorating items from the 80's. It was pretty bizarre. The medicine didn't take the contractions away, but it took the edge off enough that I was able to nap a bit.
By the time 4am rolled around, things were getting pretty heavy. The drugs had worn off, and the contractions were really rough. Breathing through them is harder than it sounds, and I was having a hard time focusing. It didn't help that I was exhausted and frustrated. Finally, I asked the nurse if I could get another dose...and she told me I'd have to wait. The stadol makes the baby sleepy, so we had to get at least 20 minutes of good action from him on the monitor before she could think about giving me another dose...which meant I had to lie very still in the bed, as every time I moved we'd lose him on the monitor. I hated to call them, so I was there closer to 40 minutes...half way through I woke Colin up in tears because it hurt too bad, and I just didn't want to deal with it alone. He's wonderful and tried to get me to breath through them and comfort me...I didn't really want to be touched or talked to, I just wanted someone there. Eventually, he went and got the nurse and she came in to check me again.
2-3cm. The slow progression was killing me. At this point she gave me a choice--get another dose of stadol or get an epidural. By now, it was almost 5 and a total no-brainer. I wanted the epidural, as soon as humanly possible. She told me she'd call the anesthesiologist...I had to ask if I could get a shot of stadol in the meantime. I thought it was going to be a lengthy wait for him, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had Colin go and get my mom and let her know what was happening, and she came in and petted my hair and tried to make my feel better.
The anesthesiologist got there pretty quickly. He was an awfully welcome sight by this point. They got me up and to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
Now, when a good friend of mine had her baby a few years ago, I got to be there when she had her epidural. I thought I was totally prepared for this thing. I was oh so wrong...
First, they raised my bed way up so that my feet were dangling. I felt like I was going to fall off the edge of the bed. I was going to ask if I could have Colin stand in front of me for support, but I was worried that I'd squirm too much or cling onto him. Once I was good and dangled, he asked me to tuck my chin to my chest and my elbows in and bow my back out as far as I could. Not an easy task when you're stupidly pregnant and in lots of pain!
He gave me a shot to numb the area, and I thought after that it would be a breeze. Well, it turns out that my being a hard stick for IVs and blood draws carries through to epidurals.
It took us about 25 minutes to get the epidural in and situated where it should be. There was a lot of gasping and crying and trying desperately to not squirm or jump off the bed on my part. Dr. Dave though...he did a great job. Well, the best he could with me, at least! It hurt. A lot. I was supposed to feel an electric tingle up and down one of my legs, but I never really felt it. I did feel it up and down my spine though, which I guess was good enough for him. The worst part was the clicking...I don't know WHAT it was, but he would push the needle in and there was this clicking noise...it made me feel like my spine was going to explode.
Eventually, he was able to get it in there and he gave me a shot which almost immediately calmed my contractions to the point where I wasn't feeling them. There were lots of questions about ringing in my ears and pins in my toes...at that point though, I didn't really care, because the pain was done. Having my mom and Colin there, even if I wasn't holding their hands, was definitely a great help. There were lots of encouraging words that helped keep me from having a total meltdown. I was almost positive during it all that he wasn't going to be able to make it work, and he would leave having dug around in my spine and without me having any medication to help me through it. I think I might have just curled up and died right then and there. After he was all done, he did tell me that it was pretty rough for him too...I felt bad that he had to work so hard for it! Afterwards, the nurse helped get me into bed and get situated, and I almost immediately started feeling nauseous.
I swallowed it down for a few minutes, and then said something. The nurse at the time was doing something, and asked Colin to grab a bag for me. He obviously learned during my pregnancy, as he sprang into action to fetch me an emesis bag...but was just a bit too slow. There was explosive vomit. All over the place. My bed and my gown and my nice new nursing bra...the blood pressure cuff, the tubing to my IV, and the tubing for my epidural. Oh, not to mention, all over the floor and the nurse. Joy.
I did what I always do when I throw up. I started to cry and apologize profusely. Although, it made me feel a lot better! They got me a shot of Zofran and set about cleaning me up. After lots of damp paper towels, a fresh gown, and fresh sheets, I started to feel human again. Unfortunately, because I 'd already gotten the epidural, they had to change the bed with me in it. Fortunately, the drugs had kicked in by this point, so I was happy and just didn't care.
The anesthesiologist came back in after I was all cleaned up and took some time to explain everything to me. He made sure to tell me that my puking wasn't his fault, and that many women he sees get sick when they transition...not because of the drugs, but because of their bodies. I wasn't really caring at that point, but I made it a point to tell him how much I appreciated him and that he was my best friend. His comment was something along the lines of, 'Well, you weren't easy to get at all, but I'm glad it worked.'
At this point, I promptly passed out. I got some really good sleep until about 830 and then kept on dozing for another hour or so. I woke up a few times when the nurses came in, but I didn't stay awake. I could still feel pressure when I would have a contraction, but it wasn't painful at all. The sleep was absolutely glorious, as I had a feeling I'd be at this for a very long time. The Dr. came in around 930 to check me and talk about my progress.
5cm. Some progress, but not enough to make me happy. I was frustrated that I'd been doing this for 12 hours, and had only gotten that far. He told me that we'd keep trying to do it naturally as long as there was no sign of infection, and that he was sure we'd have some action, but that it would be several hours. He was thinking I wouldn't be having a baby until sometime that afternoon or evening. After a little pow-wow with my family, my dad decided to head into work for a few hours since their job was just a few blocks away and the grandma's decided to head home for a shower and a change and some relaxing time. The Dr. agreed that they'd have a few hours, and since it had taken me 12 hours to get 5cm, we all figured that we'd have plenty of time.
Colin took off with my dad to get coffee. He was considering heading to the farm for a shower, but he opted to just have coffee instead and maybe steal my tub in the afternoon. Turns out that was a very good choice on his part!
At 1015 or so, after everyone had taken off and I had some alone time, I finally decided I should try to go to the bathroom. I'd been holding it for awhile...I hate bedside commodes (which was one of only a few options for me after the epidural) and I was kind of terrified that they'd need to do a catheter. I'm silly, so I just ignored it for a few hours. Finally I called the nurses, and they both came in to help me...which also made me feel silly, since I really was having no issues at all getting up and getting on. I'm pretty sure I could have just walked to the bathroom, but that was a big no-go.
At this point, I was feeling pressure from contractions but no pain. My feet and legs were a bit tingly but I could still move them just fine. My hips, thighs, lower back, and butt were all numb, but not so much that I couldn't still move and get around. Sadly, this didn't really make that damn bed any more comfortable to lay in...
Peeing was a bit difficult, but I soldiered through that and we got me settled back into bed. I proceeded to pull out my netbook and nook to try to distract myself from what would surely be a long ordeal. By about 1030, I was feeling some different pressure, like I really, really had to poop. I've had a lot of constipation throughout the pregnancy, and it just felt like I was really constipated (which, since I hadn't pooped in a few days, was definitely the case) and really, really had to go. I tried to ignore it for awhile, justifying it in my mind as, 'I'll poop when the baby gets here...I really just don't want to deal with the commode or people having to help me...' After another 10 minutes or so, I couldn't ignore it anymore so I called the nurses.
I explained to them that I have had a lot of constipation, and practically begged them to let me go to the regular toilet rather than the commode. No go. I then proceeded to beg for a stool softener, perhaps. Also, no go. Grudgingly I climbed onto the commode and tried to make something happen. No luck...
The nurse came in a few times to check on me. She asked me if I was sure I needed to poop or if the baby was just moving down, but I assured her that I was just constipated. On her second trip in, she told me that she wanted to check me again, and then if I was still only at 5cm, she'd see if the Dr. would order an enema for me. I was just relieved that there might be some help, so I was more than happy to comply. She got me in bed and settled back and got her gloves on to check me.
Colin walked in right around this time, just in time for him to hear the nurse pronounce, 'Oh! You're complete. And there is the head.' She ripped off the gloves and washed her hands and sprang into action like some kind of mad woman. I just kind of blinked at her and said, "So what does that mean?"
"Well, it means we're going to get ready to have your baby."
It was 11am at this point, and my mind kind of went, 'Oh. Shit.' I mean, I'd prepared for this for a long time...but being faced with it was an entirely different story. I told Colin to start calling people and I started calling people as the nurses started bringing stuff in. I was still feeling the pressure, but I was more worried with making sure everyone knew what was happening. At one point, I think the nurse got a little annoyed that I was on the phone talking through my contractions. hehe, ooops! The nurse made sure to inform us that I could be pushing for as long as 2 hours.
We got the bed ready and my feet up in the stirrups and the nurse checked me again, at which point she told me I definitely would not be pushing for 2 hours. Seems the baby was right there and ready to go. Unfortunately, we were still missing the Doctor! They had paged him and he was changing and getting over there as soon as he could. At this point, the nurses were telling me to just breath through the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't really understand that they meant they didn't want me to push as well as breath...
At 1115 or so, the Dr. came rushing into the room. Through this I had been pushing and the nurses were both telling me how good I was doing. The Dr. didn't even have time to get his stool. He took one look at me and said, "Ok. I think this next push you're going to have a baby!" Let me tell you...if that isn't incentive to give one hell of a push, then nothing is. The bed, while very uncomfortable to sleep in, was pretty much amazing for the whole birthing thing. There were handles that I could grab onto while I was pushing...while it was imperative that Colin be there, it was a lot easier for me to grab something immobile rather than someones hand.
At 1120, after one big last push, Roland was born. All I remember was a ton of pressure, lots of me yelling and making noise, and then a huge feeling of relief when the head was out. It only took a few moments and he was squalling. I was crying and laughing and staring at this beautiful baby and practically falling out of the bed because I was shaking so hard from the endorphins. All I could do was stare at my baby boy, as the nurse cleaned him up and he screamed bloody murder. Colin was taking pictures, and as soon as he gave Roland a finger to grip, the little guy quieted down enough to get himself cleaned up. The Dr. delivered the placenta, which I barely even felt...it was another moment of, 'pressure...ooohhh, relief, yay it's done!'
After that came the really hard part. It only lasted a few minutes, but I'm pretty sure it was more painful than the labor itself. I had 2nd degree tears and the Dr. set about stitching me up. He numbed me, and I still had the epidural (which I gave myself extra of after the nurse reminded me I could) but it still hurt like a bitch. I kept crying and laughing and looking at my baby. I knew they wanted to get me cleaned up as quickly as possible so I could hold him, but man it was hard to not get him immediately.
So, in 2 hours I went from being 5cm dialated, 0 station...to holding my son in my arms. I pushed for less than 20 minutes. The grandmas missed being there which was sad for me, but I really couldn't do anything about that. My dad got to the hospital in time, but he waited outside the room...he could hear me and he could hear when Roland was born. I was really, really, really glad that Colin was there. He was amazing while I was pushing...he petted my hair and told me how amazing I was doing, but he still gave me the physical space that I needed. All of the nurses and the Dr. were very surprised that it went as easily as it did. We were all expecting a very difficult labor for me, after the first part had been so rough. He weighed in at 8lbs11oz and measured 20.5". All of the nurses remarked at how big he was and how adorable.
Afterwards, I felt amazing. I was tired, but not overly so. I was riding high on everything that I'd experienced. I wasn't hurting too bad, I was just completely thrilled by our baby boy. And he was just amazing. He snuggled right up to us both and just completely caught us up. He is sweet and adorable and just unbelievable. After he was born, all of the nurses who came in to see me remarked about how good I looked for having just given birth to such a big baby. When I saw my Dr. the following morning, his comment was, 'Well, aren't YOU looking perky.' I felt good and I still do, though I'm definitely tired.
I won't lie--it was hard. It was painful and it was rough and at some points I really just wanted to give up. But at the end of the day, I was given an amazing gift. Even though parts of it were really hard, I would absolutely do it again in a heartbeat. We will definitely wait a few years before having our next one...but would be thrilled to do it all again.
Monday morning, January 2nd, I woke up at about 930 in the morning and felt like maybe something was going on. I didn't really want to get up yet, so I just kind of hung around in bed for another 15 minutes or so before dragging myself off to the bathroom. I sat down to pee and when I stood up, I just kept leaking. Repeated that a few times and then sat there, really debating whether or not my water had really just broken. I finally came to the conclusion that either my water had broken or I'd lost all control of my bladder...either way, probably something I needed to see the doctor about.
I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I decided to take my time getting to the hospital. I took a nice warm shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes (and nice thick pads to catch all the the liquid that I was still leaking) before waking up my mom and letting her know my water had broken. I sent Colin a text and then called him to let him know we'd be heading down eventually. I then proceeded to call the hospital and let them know and let all of the other important parties know what was going on. Still no contractions, so we took our time puttering around the house and getting everything together before finally heading out. Luckily, Colin's family hadn't gotten on the train to head back to Iowa yet, so his mom was able to change her ticket and stay to see the baby born.
We made our way to Havre and stopped at McDonalds--I wanted to make sure I got some real food in me, just in case they decided I couldn't eat. Headed up to the hospital and got checked in where I discovered that I was the only person on the L&D floor, and they hadn't had a New Year's baby yet! Very exciting to think I might get the first baby of the New Years, although they did warn me that there was another woman coming in that afternoon to hopefully deliver.
We got all settled in my room with our overabundance of stuff and met my Mother in Law up there. Colin got there just as I was getting comfortable in my stupidly uncomfortable bed. The nurse checked me...my water had DEFINITELY broken (again, all over everything--ew) but to my dismay...I was still only 1cm dialated. Oh, and I was still not having any contractions. The nurse told me that we'd wait 12 hours from the time my water broke, and if I wasn't having any contractions, they'd start the pitocin. Ugh. I didn't really want to go that route again, but not much choice at this stage of the game.
The nurse was going to wait to do my hep-lock, since I wouldn't need the IV for quite some time. The phlebotomist came in to try to draw blood, and I had to tell her several times that I'm a hard stick. She found one vein that she thought would be ok...and after failing to get blood, I asked her to just start the IV. I'd rather have to deal with it than have them use up all my decent veins getting blood. So I got stuck in my left hand, and it wasn't too terrible.
Not long after that, the nurse gave me some good news. She'd just gotten a hold of my Doctor! He'd just gotten back from his vacation, which meant he'd be there when Roland was born. That definitely made my day.
We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and just hanging out. I still wasn't having much in the way of contractions, which was pretty frustrating, but I stayed in good spirits. After all, I was going to go home with a baby one way or another, and that was all that mattered. The family all decided to stay up at the hospital for the night. It was nice knowing they were there, just in case we needed anything. Colin would stay in my room, and my parents took over the waiting room.
10pm rolled around and they checked me again. Still only 1cm, but I had hope that the pitocin would do it's job and get the ball really rolling. The contractions started out small, but they quickly started to feel a lot more productive than the ones I'd had the last go around. By midnight, they were getting to be fairly painful, but I kept soldiering on. I was able to nap through them without too much difficulty. By 2am, they were to the point where I was having to breath through them. I called the nurse to see if she could bring me anything, and she offered me Stadol. After checking me again, of course.
Only 1-2cm. Ugh! So she got it ordered and got it going, which definitely helped...although the stadol gave me some insane dream/hallucination type things. Like, I was stuck in some kind of giant flea market that was filled with decorating items from the 80's. It was pretty bizarre. The medicine didn't take the contractions away, but it took the edge off enough that I was able to nap a bit.
By the time 4am rolled around, things were getting pretty heavy. The drugs had worn off, and the contractions were really rough. Breathing through them is harder than it sounds, and I was having a hard time focusing. It didn't help that I was exhausted and frustrated. Finally, I asked the nurse if I could get another dose...and she told me I'd have to wait. The stadol makes the baby sleepy, so we had to get at least 20 minutes of good action from him on the monitor before she could think about giving me another dose...which meant I had to lie very still in the bed, as every time I moved we'd lose him on the monitor. I hated to call them, so I was there closer to 40 minutes...half way through I woke Colin up in tears because it hurt too bad, and I just didn't want to deal with it alone. He's wonderful and tried to get me to breath through them and comfort me...I didn't really want to be touched or talked to, I just wanted someone there. Eventually, he went and got the nurse and she came in to check me again.
2-3cm. The slow progression was killing me. At this point she gave me a choice--get another dose of stadol or get an epidural. By now, it was almost 5 and a total no-brainer. I wanted the epidural, as soon as humanly possible. She told me she'd call the anesthesiologist...I had to ask if I could get a shot of stadol in the meantime. I thought it was going to be a lengthy wait for him, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had Colin go and get my mom and let her know what was happening, and she came in and petted my hair and tried to make my feel better.
The anesthesiologist got there pretty quickly. He was an awfully welcome sight by this point. They got me up and to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
Now, when a good friend of mine had her baby a few years ago, I got to be there when she had her epidural. I thought I was totally prepared for this thing. I was oh so wrong...
First, they raised my bed way up so that my feet were dangling. I felt like I was going to fall off the edge of the bed. I was going to ask if I could have Colin stand in front of me for support, but I was worried that I'd squirm too much or cling onto him. Once I was good and dangled, he asked me to tuck my chin to my chest and my elbows in and bow my back out as far as I could. Not an easy task when you're stupidly pregnant and in lots of pain!
He gave me a shot to numb the area, and I thought after that it would be a breeze. Well, it turns out that my being a hard stick for IVs and blood draws carries through to epidurals.
It took us about 25 minutes to get the epidural in and situated where it should be. There was a lot of gasping and crying and trying desperately to not squirm or jump off the bed on my part. Dr. Dave though...he did a great job. Well, the best he could with me, at least! It hurt. A lot. I was supposed to feel an electric tingle up and down one of my legs, but I never really felt it. I did feel it up and down my spine though, which I guess was good enough for him. The worst part was the clicking...I don't know WHAT it was, but he would push the needle in and there was this clicking noise...it made me feel like my spine was going to explode.
Eventually, he was able to get it in there and he gave me a shot which almost immediately calmed my contractions to the point where I wasn't feeling them. There were lots of questions about ringing in my ears and pins in my toes...at that point though, I didn't really care, because the pain was done. Having my mom and Colin there, even if I wasn't holding their hands, was definitely a great help. There were lots of encouraging words that helped keep me from having a total meltdown. I was almost positive during it all that he wasn't going to be able to make it work, and he would leave having dug around in my spine and without me having any medication to help me through it. I think I might have just curled up and died right then and there. After he was all done, he did tell me that it was pretty rough for him too...I felt bad that he had to work so hard for it! Afterwards, the nurse helped get me into bed and get situated, and I almost immediately started feeling nauseous.
I swallowed it down for a few minutes, and then said something. The nurse at the time was doing something, and asked Colin to grab a bag for me. He obviously learned during my pregnancy, as he sprang into action to fetch me an emesis bag...but was just a bit too slow. There was explosive vomit. All over the place. My bed and my gown and my nice new nursing bra...the blood pressure cuff, the tubing to my IV, and the tubing for my epidural. Oh, not to mention, all over the floor and the nurse. Joy.
I did what I always do when I throw up. I started to cry and apologize profusely. Although, it made me feel a lot better! They got me a shot of Zofran and set about cleaning me up. After lots of damp paper towels, a fresh gown, and fresh sheets, I started to feel human again. Unfortunately, because I 'd already gotten the epidural, they had to change the bed with me in it. Fortunately, the drugs had kicked in by this point, so I was happy and just didn't care.
The anesthesiologist came back in after I was all cleaned up and took some time to explain everything to me. He made sure to tell me that my puking wasn't his fault, and that many women he sees get sick when they transition...not because of the drugs, but because of their bodies. I wasn't really caring at that point, but I made it a point to tell him how much I appreciated him and that he was my best friend. His comment was something along the lines of, 'Well, you weren't easy to get at all, but I'm glad it worked.'
At this point, I promptly passed out. I got some really good sleep until about 830 and then kept on dozing for another hour or so. I woke up a few times when the nurses came in, but I didn't stay awake. I could still feel pressure when I would have a contraction, but it wasn't painful at all. The sleep was absolutely glorious, as I had a feeling I'd be at this for a very long time. The Dr. came in around 930 to check me and talk about my progress.
5cm. Some progress, but not enough to make me happy. I was frustrated that I'd been doing this for 12 hours, and had only gotten that far. He told me that we'd keep trying to do it naturally as long as there was no sign of infection, and that he was sure we'd have some action, but that it would be several hours. He was thinking I wouldn't be having a baby until sometime that afternoon or evening. After a little pow-wow with my family, my dad decided to head into work for a few hours since their job was just a few blocks away and the grandma's decided to head home for a shower and a change and some relaxing time. The Dr. agreed that they'd have a few hours, and since it had taken me 12 hours to get 5cm, we all figured that we'd have plenty of time.
Colin took off with my dad to get coffee. He was considering heading to the farm for a shower, but he opted to just have coffee instead and maybe steal my tub in the afternoon. Turns out that was a very good choice on his part!
At 1015 or so, after everyone had taken off and I had some alone time, I finally decided I should try to go to the bathroom. I'd been holding it for awhile...I hate bedside commodes (which was one of only a few options for me after the epidural) and I was kind of terrified that they'd need to do a catheter. I'm silly, so I just ignored it for a few hours. Finally I called the nurses, and they both came in to help me...which also made me feel silly, since I really was having no issues at all getting up and getting on. I'm pretty sure I could have just walked to the bathroom, but that was a big no-go.
At this point, I was feeling pressure from contractions but no pain. My feet and legs were a bit tingly but I could still move them just fine. My hips, thighs, lower back, and butt were all numb, but not so much that I couldn't still move and get around. Sadly, this didn't really make that damn bed any more comfortable to lay in...
Peeing was a bit difficult, but I soldiered through that and we got me settled back into bed. I proceeded to pull out my netbook and nook to try to distract myself from what would surely be a long ordeal. By about 1030, I was feeling some different pressure, like I really, really had to poop. I've had a lot of constipation throughout the pregnancy, and it just felt like I was really constipated (which, since I hadn't pooped in a few days, was definitely the case) and really, really had to go. I tried to ignore it for awhile, justifying it in my mind as, 'I'll poop when the baby gets here...I really just don't want to deal with the commode or people having to help me...' After another 10 minutes or so, I couldn't ignore it anymore so I called the nurses.
I explained to them that I have had a lot of constipation, and practically begged them to let me go to the regular toilet rather than the commode. No go. I then proceeded to beg for a stool softener, perhaps. Also, no go. Grudgingly I climbed onto the commode and tried to make something happen. No luck...
The nurse came in a few times to check on me. She asked me if I was sure I needed to poop or if the baby was just moving down, but I assured her that I was just constipated. On her second trip in, she told me that she wanted to check me again, and then if I was still only at 5cm, she'd see if the Dr. would order an enema for me. I was just relieved that there might be some help, so I was more than happy to comply. She got me in bed and settled back and got her gloves on to check me.
Colin walked in right around this time, just in time for him to hear the nurse pronounce, 'Oh! You're complete. And there is the head.' She ripped off the gloves and washed her hands and sprang into action like some kind of mad woman. I just kind of blinked at her and said, "So what does that mean?"
"Well, it means we're going to get ready to have your baby."
It was 11am at this point, and my mind kind of went, 'Oh. Shit.' I mean, I'd prepared for this for a long time...but being faced with it was an entirely different story. I told Colin to start calling people and I started calling people as the nurses started bringing stuff in. I was still feeling the pressure, but I was more worried with making sure everyone knew what was happening. At one point, I think the nurse got a little annoyed that I was on the phone talking through my contractions. hehe, ooops! The nurse made sure to inform us that I could be pushing for as long as 2 hours.
We got the bed ready and my feet up in the stirrups and the nurse checked me again, at which point she told me I definitely would not be pushing for 2 hours. Seems the baby was right there and ready to go. Unfortunately, we were still missing the Doctor! They had paged him and he was changing and getting over there as soon as he could. At this point, the nurses were telling me to just breath through the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't really understand that they meant they didn't want me to push as well as breath...
At 1115 or so, the Dr. came rushing into the room. Through this I had been pushing and the nurses were both telling me how good I was doing. The Dr. didn't even have time to get his stool. He took one look at me and said, "Ok. I think this next push you're going to have a baby!" Let me tell you...if that isn't incentive to give one hell of a push, then nothing is. The bed, while very uncomfortable to sleep in, was pretty much amazing for the whole birthing thing. There were handles that I could grab onto while I was pushing...while it was imperative that Colin be there, it was a lot easier for me to grab something immobile rather than someones hand.
At 1120, after one big last push, Roland was born. All I remember was a ton of pressure, lots of me yelling and making noise, and then a huge feeling of relief when the head was out. It only took a few moments and he was squalling. I was crying and laughing and staring at this beautiful baby and practically falling out of the bed because I was shaking so hard from the endorphins. All I could do was stare at my baby boy, as the nurse cleaned him up and he screamed bloody murder. Colin was taking pictures, and as soon as he gave Roland a finger to grip, the little guy quieted down enough to get himself cleaned up. The Dr. delivered the placenta, which I barely even felt...it was another moment of, 'pressure...ooohhh, relief, yay it's done!'
After that came the really hard part. It only lasted a few minutes, but I'm pretty sure it was more painful than the labor itself. I had 2nd degree tears and the Dr. set about stitching me up. He numbed me, and I still had the epidural (which I gave myself extra of after the nurse reminded me I could) but it still hurt like a bitch. I kept crying and laughing and looking at my baby. I knew they wanted to get me cleaned up as quickly as possible so I could hold him, but man it was hard to not get him immediately.
So, in 2 hours I went from being 5cm dialated, 0 station...to holding my son in my arms. I pushed for less than 20 minutes. The grandmas missed being there which was sad for me, but I really couldn't do anything about that. My dad got to the hospital in time, but he waited outside the room...he could hear me and he could hear when Roland was born. I was really, really, really glad that Colin was there. He was amazing while I was pushing...he petted my hair and told me how amazing I was doing, but he still gave me the physical space that I needed. All of the nurses and the Dr. were very surprised that it went as easily as it did. We were all expecting a very difficult labor for me, after the first part had been so rough. He weighed in at 8lbs11oz and measured 20.5". All of the nurses remarked at how big he was and how adorable.
Afterwards, I felt amazing. I was tired, but not overly so. I was riding high on everything that I'd experienced. I wasn't hurting too bad, I was just completely thrilled by our baby boy. And he was just amazing. He snuggled right up to us both and just completely caught us up. He is sweet and adorable and just unbelievable. After he was born, all of the nurses who came in to see me remarked about how good I looked for having just given birth to such a big baby. When I saw my Dr. the following morning, his comment was, 'Well, aren't YOU looking perky.' I felt good and I still do, though I'm definitely tired.
I won't lie--it was hard. It was painful and it was rough and at some points I really just wanted to give up. But at the end of the day, I was given an amazing gift. Even though parts of it were really hard, I would absolutely do it again in a heartbeat. We will definitely wait a few years before having our next one...but would be thrilled to do it all again.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Today...
Our son was born. Words cannot express how amazing that feels to say. I'm watching Colin right now, cuddling Roland, and the two of them look so very content. Roland has been an amazing baby thus far...he cried when he was born, and since then, he has only cried when he was having various tests done. We have cuddled him all day long, though the real test will be tonight.
I might be just a tad biased, but he is the most amazing and most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He is gorgeous, with big DARK blue eyes bordering on violet, dirty blonde hair with no eyebrows (just like momma,) his daddy's chin and his mommy's nose. He has HUGE feet and tiny little toes. He weighed in at 8lbs, 11oz and 20.5" long. He has huge chunky legs and an adorable chunky butt. He is perfect.
I will be writing the birth story up shortly. It's going to be long, and it will be filled with TMI...so if you don't want to know the gory details, then you can avoid it. I had a rough couple of days, but the end result was so worth it. I wouldn't trade it away for anything in the world...
I am so happy, and I am so very blessed. I've no idea what I did to deserve such a beautiful family, but I am so happy to have them.
I might be just a tad biased, but he is the most amazing and most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He is gorgeous, with big DARK blue eyes bordering on violet, dirty blonde hair with no eyebrows (just like momma,) his daddy's chin and his mommy's nose. He has HUGE feet and tiny little toes. He weighed in at 8lbs, 11oz and 20.5" long. He has huge chunky legs and an adorable chunky butt. He is perfect.
I will be writing the birth story up shortly. It's going to be long, and it will be filled with TMI...so if you don't want to know the gory details, then you can avoid it. I had a rough couple of days, but the end result was so worth it. I wouldn't trade it away for anything in the world...
I am so happy, and I am so very blessed. I've no idea what I did to deserve such a beautiful family, but I am so happy to have them.
Today was hands down the most amazing day of my life. I am currently exhausted after a hard night last night and Roland's big arrival today.
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been supportive of us throughout this pregnancy, especially the past few weeks when things have been difficult. Your words of encouragement, good thoughts and prayers have helped us get through it all. There are not enough words to convey how it feels to know that there are so many people pulling for us.
Mostly, I want to thank my husband. His support and love helped me get through everything, even when I didn't think I could do it.
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been supportive of us throughout this pregnancy, especially the past few weeks when things have been difficult. Your words of encouragement, good thoughts and prayers have helped us get through it all. There are not enough words to convey how it feels to know that there are so many people pulling for us.
Mostly, I want to thank my husband. His support and love helped me get through everything, even when I didn't think I could do it.
Baby Watch 2012
Baby Watch 2012:
I caved. Epidural ordered, should be here soon. Contractions getting pretty rough.
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Monday, January 2, 2012
Baby Watch 2012
Things are going really well. Not much in the way of contractions yet, but we're trucking on. We will start pitocin at about 10 if we don't see much action.
Squee!!! Can't wait to meet our baby boy!!!!
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Baby Watch 2012:
Baby Watch 2011:
In other good news, my doctor got back from vacation about an hour ago, and will be here to deliver Roland.
And here we were sure he'd miss it! Win!
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Baby Watch 2012
Baby Watch 2012:
Water broke about 30 minutes ago. I'm not having much in the way of contractions, so we're kind of puttering around here. I took a shower, Mom and Chas are going to shower and eat, and then we'll head up to the hospital. I'm feeling pretty calm at this point, though I know it could be a long wait.
Ok...now...THIS trip to the hospital WILL result in a baby! :) YAY!!!
Oh, and yes...I did take the time to check Castleville...didn't want my cabbage to die on me...
Water broke about 30 minutes ago. I'm not having much in the way of contractions, so we're kind of puttering around here. I took a shower, Mom and Chas are going to shower and eat, and then we'll head up to the hospital. I'm feeling pretty calm at this point, though I know it could be a long wait.
Ok...now...THIS trip to the hospital WILL result in a baby! :) YAY!!!
Oh, and yes...I did take the time to check Castleville...didn't want my cabbage to die on me...
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