2012 is quickly drawing to a close. There are things in my life that I'd change if I could of course--I'd love to be 20 pounds slimmer, or have bigger boobs or have a lot more money. I'd love to be a little more sure of where our lives would take us in the next year and where we would be ending up. But really, all things considered, I couldn't be happier.
2012 was a crazy year. It was full of insane highs and lows...but for the most part, the year was amazing. There were bad parts. There were some massive fights between my husband and I. Our lives were oftentimes frustrating and difficult. But despite that, it was an amazing year.
I'm sitting here watching my son rip apart tissue paper and try to eat it. He is happy and healthy and absolutely amazing. He surprises me every day with the things he does and the way he changes. Sometimes the only reason I get out of bed in the morning is knowing that I have his happy little face to wake up to.
He'll be a year old in just a few days. It's amazing how much changes in a year. He is such a little man...he's not a baby anymore, he's a toddler. He is busy and crazy smart and so full of joy and love and life!
In 2012, I started working at the Post Office, which is a job that I really very much enjoy.
I transferred to a new school. I'm not sure yet how much I like it, but I'm sticking with it for now at least.
I've learned so much about myself. I am a good mother...I am an amazing mother. I have an amazing family.
Of course, as I type this, he is busy getting into everything in Oma and Opa's living room. Hell, I wouldn't change that either. The busy inquisitiveness is a wonderful sign. He's going to be a bright kid.
I admit I'm biased.
I could be spending my New Years Eve out and about, drinking and partying and enjoying myself. And it would be fun, this is true. But I am perfectly content where I am, ringing in the new year with my Prince Charming.
If you had the choice, wouldn't you want to spend your day with this child too?
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
To my husband
I spent most of the day driving. I had to head to Bozeman to pick my baby brother up from school. Originally, my dad was going to come with me, but an unfortunate bout with the flu means that I did the trip alone.
I had six hours all to myself. It was wonderful...it's rare that I get 20 minutes alone, let alone hours in one stretch. I listened to loud music and talked to myself and completely enjoyed driving through the snowy mountains. Even cruddy roads didn't bum me out.
I spent a lot of time thinking. There was a song that came on that really kind of got to me. Ok, I lied...nearly all of the songs got to me. But one really bothered me.
I haven't been very fair to my husband. And that really bothers me.
Let me explain. I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 18. I was young and I was stupid and I was totally naive. He was 10 years older than me and well...we just weren't good for one another, in a relationship. But I worked my ass off. Even though the relationship eventually failed, I did everything that I knew how to do to try to make it work and try to make him happy. The first time he cheated on me, I blamed myself, and tried to work harder to be better for him...I would have done anything to make it work, because for some reason, I had it in my mind that he was the only man that would ever love me.
I broke up with him because there was someone else who loved me. And I wouldn't have to be alone. I could still be loved and have someone care for me, so it was finally ok for me to break up with him. That relationship failed too, but it was as much from distance as anything else. But I would have done anything for him too.
There was the Army guy. I sent him as many packages as I could afford. I was going to completely uproot myself and everything for him. Again, I would have done anything for him. Things broke apart shortly before he got back to the states. He just stopped talking to me...and I was just broken over it.
And then I met my husband. And at first, it was just going to be a fling. We were just going to have fun. And then we met each other and things got very serious, very fast.
But I think that maybe part of me has never given him as much as I should. And that makes me feel like shit.
I love my husband. I love him very much. He keeps me grounded and he adores me. He's the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He's the father of my child (and future children) and I love him completely. He is intelligent and sweet and funny...sometimes he's a bit dense, but he means well. He is a wonderful father, and he loves me.
So here's the thing. I need to be a better wife. I love him as much as he loves me...but I need to be better at showing it. He's not going to hurt me, he's not going to leave me, he's not going to cheat on me or disappear. He's here to stay, and I need to be too.
It's something I need to work on. I think maybe I just got so used to being IN CHARGE and doing it all myself that I forgot how to share. Because I know I haven't been very good at sharing my life.
Colin--I love you. I'm sorry I've been a terrible wife, and I will try to be better.
I had six hours all to myself. It was wonderful...it's rare that I get 20 minutes alone, let alone hours in one stretch. I listened to loud music and talked to myself and completely enjoyed driving through the snowy mountains. Even cruddy roads didn't bum me out.
I spent a lot of time thinking. There was a song that came on that really kind of got to me. Ok, I lied...nearly all of the songs got to me. But one really bothered me.
I haven't been very fair to my husband. And that really bothers me.
Let me explain. I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 18. I was young and I was stupid and I was totally naive. He was 10 years older than me and well...we just weren't good for one another, in a relationship. But I worked my ass off. Even though the relationship eventually failed, I did everything that I knew how to do to try to make it work and try to make him happy. The first time he cheated on me, I blamed myself, and tried to work harder to be better for him...I would have done anything to make it work, because for some reason, I had it in my mind that he was the only man that would ever love me.
I broke up with him because there was someone else who loved me. And I wouldn't have to be alone. I could still be loved and have someone care for me, so it was finally ok for me to break up with him. That relationship failed too, but it was as much from distance as anything else. But I would have done anything for him too.
There was the Army guy. I sent him as many packages as I could afford. I was going to completely uproot myself and everything for him. Again, I would have done anything for him. Things broke apart shortly before he got back to the states. He just stopped talking to me...and I was just broken over it.
And then I met my husband. And at first, it was just going to be a fling. We were just going to have fun. And then we met each other and things got very serious, very fast.
But I think that maybe part of me has never given him as much as I should. And that makes me feel like shit.
I love my husband. I love him very much. He keeps me grounded and he adores me. He's the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He's the father of my child (and future children) and I love him completely. He is intelligent and sweet and funny...sometimes he's a bit dense, but he means well. He is a wonderful father, and he loves me.
So here's the thing. I need to be a better wife. I love him as much as he loves me...but I need to be better at showing it. He's not going to hurt me, he's not going to leave me, he's not going to cheat on me or disappear. He's here to stay, and I need to be too.
It's something I need to work on. I think maybe I just got so used to being IN CHARGE and doing it all myself that I forgot how to share. Because I know I haven't been very good at sharing my life.
Colin--I love you. I'm sorry I've been a terrible wife, and I will try to be better.
Monday, December 3, 2012
11 months strong
It's hard to believe that my sweet little boy is already 11 months old. This time last year, I was uncomfortable and crabby and just waiting for him to show up any old day. I just wanted to hold him and be done with pregnancy! Of course, he ended up proving he was more stubborn than I am by coming two weeks past his due date.
Now, I'm sitting here watching him play quietly with his books, and just marveling at how amazing he is. He surprises me daily with his personality quirks, his smile and his pure charm. Sometimes we look at him and just say, 'Yeah. He is ALL BOY.'
He has no fear of anything. He has started climbing on things to reach something that was moved out of his reach. If he's sitting on your lap, he will gleefully dive towards the floor. Sometimes we don't catch him in time, but he just tumbles down and keeps on going. There are moments where I look at him and think, 'How in the hell did you get so dirty?' I'm pretty sure that any dirt and grime in the house is magnetically drawn to him.
He has the best smile in the world. A little impish grin with one tiny dimple. Oh, and heaven forbid you don't pay enough attention to him! He'll get up in your face and tilt your head with that, 'I'm so damn cute' look.
I saw a picture on facebook the other day that said, 'I didn't believe until true love until I had a child.' Or something along those lines. And it is so true...I never realized just how much I could love another human being. I mean, I love my husband, and he is very important to me...but the love for my son completely eclipses that.
The past 11 months have not been easy. Motherhood is filled with frustration and anxiety and fear. You always wonder if you are doing things right and if you are strong enough to make it through. You stay up late into the night worrying about if your child is happy, if they will grow up happy, if unimaginable tragedy will strike your family and you won't be able to watch him grow up. Every day there is a new worry that crops up in your mind.
You know what, though? It's normal. It's normal to worry and stress about those little fears. That's just part of what makes us all human. I know I've worried a ton about being a bad mom. But as I sit here and look at my happy, healthy, intelligent, amazing son...I know that I'm not doing too terrible.
This past year has been one of the most difficult. But there is no doubt in my mind that it has been the most rewarding. The things I've gone through and the things I've sacrificed are nothing compared to the amazing little man that is in my life.
Of course, once he starts walking, I might want to trade him in for a newer model... ;)
Happy Birthday, Rollo! I love you so very much.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
It's beginning to look a lot like...
We watched White Christmas the other night, on Tuesday. It's been a long standing family tradition to watch White Christmas the first time we get a good snow that sticks. Well, we got about an inch or so Monday night and it stuck around...in fact, it's still here. So we watched one of my favorite movies of all times.
Roland absolutely loved it. He sat on my lap for about half an hour staring at the screen transfixed. Then he realized that Grandpa had a sucker and he was lost to me...but hey, those 30 minutes were magical. I think I am definitely going to have a Holiday loving boy on my hands. He already loves Christmas music when he and Grandma sit and listen to it on her Nook!
Tomorrow, we will be going to our first Halloween party. I can't wait! It will be so much fun to dress my little man up and take him around to load him up with candy and sweet stuff. I hope he enjoys it...when we went to the homecoming parade a few weeks ago, he could have cared less about it! Monday or Tuesday night we'll carve up some pumpkins, and Wednesday we'll go Trick-or-Treating at a few houses. Mostly to try to score popcorn balls for Grandpa!
Roland is going to be dressing up as a dragon...his costume is so cute it's painful! I've been trying to teach him to roar, and the best I get is a raspberry.
Next week, he'll be 10 months old. This year has gone by so fast already...and my baby boy is becoming such a little man. I feel like it's all gone too fast...I feel like I haven't really stopped to appreciate the baby months.
I am going to start blogging more (hey, where have I heard THAT before) and Roland and I are going to do more activities. Hopefully some artsy type things! He's such a sweet, amazing, beautiful and intelligent boy...I just can't wait to see what the next year in our lives brings.
Roland absolutely loved it. He sat on my lap for about half an hour staring at the screen transfixed. Then he realized that Grandpa had a sucker and he was lost to me...but hey, those 30 minutes were magical. I think I am definitely going to have a Holiday loving boy on my hands. He already loves Christmas music when he and Grandma sit and listen to it on her Nook!
Tomorrow, we will be going to our first Halloween party. I can't wait! It will be so much fun to dress my little man up and take him around to load him up with candy and sweet stuff. I hope he enjoys it...when we went to the homecoming parade a few weeks ago, he could have cared less about it! Monday or Tuesday night we'll carve up some pumpkins, and Wednesday we'll go Trick-or-Treating at a few houses. Mostly to try to score popcorn balls for Grandpa!
Roland is going to be dressing up as a dragon...his costume is so cute it's painful! I've been trying to teach him to roar, and the best I get is a raspberry.
Next week, he'll be 10 months old. This year has gone by so fast already...and my baby boy is becoming such a little man. I feel like it's all gone too fast...I feel like I haven't really stopped to appreciate the baby months.
I am going to start blogging more (hey, where have I heard THAT before) and Roland and I are going to do more activities. Hopefully some artsy type things! He's such a sweet, amazing, beautiful and intelligent boy...I just can't wait to see what the next year in our lives brings.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
6 Months
I can't believe it has been 6 months already. So much in our lives has changed since Roland was born. Despite moments of crippling depression, I am happier than I have ever been before. Motherhood is really this amazing journey and I am loving all of it--even the poopy, pukey, pouty, screamy parts.
I haven't blogged much, and for that I really am sorry. It's been hard to find the time! First I had school, and then we took over the greenhouse...busy, busy bees. I'm hoping to start writing more, just to keep a record of these precious days.
Roland is an amazing baby. He is definitely getting a little bit spoiled...but other than that, he's been great. He sleeps 8-10 hours every night. Once in a great while he'll wake up in the middle of the night, but usually a binky will fix whatever is bothering him. He doesn't nap very well, but I'd really rather he sleep well at night! His naps usually consist of 20 minute cat naps on the floor...sleeping in his crib just doesn't happen!
He is definitely a people person. He loves people. He loves to talk and laugh and smile. He loves people making over him, and he is a terrible flirt! He gives kisses and loves and is one of the cuddliest boys I've ever met. If you are holding him he tends to ignore you...until you pass him off, and then he gives you these huge grins and giggles. He will sit there and talk and talk and talk, especially if you are trying to have a conversation with someone...and he'll just talk louder and louder until you stop. And then he stops. It's so adorable! Oh, and when he gets upset, he has this slo-mo cry...it starts out with a quivery lip, and then a full-blown pout, and then the wails start up. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often! Usually the only time he cries is if he is really overtired and we're trying to get him in bed (kiddo doesn't care for the heat, so bed time is a little rough these days) or if he is hungry. Cause, you know, we starve him...obviously.
We take him out a lot and he spends a lot of time around new people. There are very few people he doesn't like...most everyone can get a grin and a giggle out of him. The other night, we were at a wedding, and he was being his usual cheerful self. Someone told me that he has, 'Miles of Personality' which really...I think that is the best compliment a mother can get! I mean, yeah, he is totally adorable...with those cheeks and that one dimple, of course he is! But knowing that he has PERSONALITY is so awesome for me.
He is a stubborn little man. He knows what he wants, and by god he'll get it! He is a little bit spoiled, but he's not a brat. He just loves to be held and cuddled.
He loves his toys. He will sit on the floor and play with various toys for hours.
He is a speed roller! He can get from one side of the room to the other in no time flat. He is THIS close to getting up on his knees. He can get each one up and under him, but he usually ends up flopping over. He can crawl/scoot backwards though! I think by the end of the summer, he is going to be jetting around the house.
He absolutely adores his bouncer. He has figured out the bouncing aspect, and he'll spend hours bouncing and playing with the toys. Bonus if you play with him--peek-a-boo gets a lot of giggles.
He squeals. It is adorable and absolutely infectious. If you eat his tummy or tickle him, he will squeal and giggle. I don't think there is a better sound in the world than a happy baby!
He sits up all by himself now! It took awhile...mostly because whenever he was on his butt he would flop over and launch himself after a toy or the cat. But he's figured that if he is upright he can play with his new toy a lot better! It's really amazing--2 weeks ago, he was still falling over and wouldn't sit very well unless he was being supported. Now he will sit all by himself and be perfectly content! It is just amazing how fast he is changing.
Teeth are our bane at the moment. He is teething--oh man he chews on EVERYTHING--and it is bothering him a lot at times. We've been chewing on teething toys a lot, but I've found that a frozen wet washcloth is the best thing. Last night he even went to bed with one! Only way I could get him to fall asleep...
His favorite stuffie is the dinosaur that his Daddy and I bought him last fall at the Museum of the Rockies. He thinks it is pretty awesome. Can't wait til he can make dino noises!
So, in short, my baby is amazing. I know that all moms say that. He is amazing and absolutely adorable and just perfect.
The last 6 months haven't been easy, but they have been amazing. I have learned so much about myself, and my husband, and our child. I am more in love with him today than I was the day I met him, if that could be possible!
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.jpg)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
I haven't blogged much, and for that I really am sorry. It's been hard to find the time! First I had school, and then we took over the greenhouse...busy, busy bees. I'm hoping to start writing more, just to keep a record of these precious days.
Roland is an amazing baby. He is definitely getting a little bit spoiled...but other than that, he's been great. He sleeps 8-10 hours every night. Once in a great while he'll wake up in the middle of the night, but usually a binky will fix whatever is bothering him. He doesn't nap very well, but I'd really rather he sleep well at night! His naps usually consist of 20 minute cat naps on the floor...sleeping in his crib just doesn't happen!
He is definitely a people person. He loves people. He loves to talk and laugh and smile. He loves people making over him, and he is a terrible flirt! He gives kisses and loves and is one of the cuddliest boys I've ever met. If you are holding him he tends to ignore you...until you pass him off, and then he gives you these huge grins and giggles. He will sit there and talk and talk and talk, especially if you are trying to have a conversation with someone...and he'll just talk louder and louder until you stop. And then he stops. It's so adorable! Oh, and when he gets upset, he has this slo-mo cry...it starts out with a quivery lip, and then a full-blown pout, and then the wails start up. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often! Usually the only time he cries is if he is really overtired and we're trying to get him in bed (kiddo doesn't care for the heat, so bed time is a little rough these days) or if he is hungry. Cause, you know, we starve him...obviously.
We take him out a lot and he spends a lot of time around new people. There are very few people he doesn't like...most everyone can get a grin and a giggle out of him. The other night, we were at a wedding, and he was being his usual cheerful self. Someone told me that he has, 'Miles of Personality' which really...I think that is the best compliment a mother can get! I mean, yeah, he is totally adorable...with those cheeks and that one dimple, of course he is! But knowing that he has PERSONALITY is so awesome for me.
He is a stubborn little man. He knows what he wants, and by god he'll get it! He is a little bit spoiled, but he's not a brat. He just loves to be held and cuddled.
He loves his toys. He will sit on the floor and play with various toys for hours.
He is a speed roller! He can get from one side of the room to the other in no time flat. He is THIS close to getting up on his knees. He can get each one up and under him, but he usually ends up flopping over. He can crawl/scoot backwards though! I think by the end of the summer, he is going to be jetting around the house.
He absolutely adores his bouncer. He has figured out the bouncing aspect, and he'll spend hours bouncing and playing with the toys. Bonus if you play with him--peek-a-boo gets a lot of giggles.
He squeals. It is adorable and absolutely infectious. If you eat his tummy or tickle him, he will squeal and giggle. I don't think there is a better sound in the world than a happy baby!
He sits up all by himself now! It took awhile...mostly because whenever he was on his butt he would flop over and launch himself after a toy or the cat. But he's figured that if he is upright he can play with his new toy a lot better! It's really amazing--2 weeks ago, he was still falling over and wouldn't sit very well unless he was being supported. Now he will sit all by himself and be perfectly content! It is just amazing how fast he is changing.
Teeth are our bane at the moment. He is teething--oh man he chews on EVERYTHING--and it is bothering him a lot at times. We've been chewing on teething toys a lot, but I've found that a frozen wet washcloth is the best thing. Last night he even went to bed with one! Only way I could get him to fall asleep...
His favorite stuffie is the dinosaur that his Daddy and I bought him last fall at the Museum of the Rockies. He thinks it is pretty awesome. Can't wait til he can make dino noises!
So, in short, my baby is amazing. I know that all moms say that. He is amazing and absolutely adorable and just perfect.
The last 6 months haven't been easy, but they have been amazing. I have learned so much about myself, and my husband, and our child. I am more in love with him today than I was the day I met him, if that could be possible!
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.jpg)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Little Cubes of Joy
My kid is an
eater.
No,
really. He is a serious pork chop.
From day
one, I wasn't able to produce enough milk to keep this little tubbo happy. We tried exclusively breast feeding for a few
weeks but we were both pretty miserable.
Even with supplementing with formula.
He wouldn't latch on well and he just wasn't getting enough off the boob
to be happy. It was great for comfort,
but pretty rough for actual sustenance.
At six
weeks, we started putting a little bit of rice cereal in his bottle. At that point, he was eating 4 to 6 ounces
every 2 hours. The cereal did the trick! He would still eat about 6 ounces, but it was
every 3 to 4 hours. And shortly after
that, he started sleeping through the night.
At just over
three months old, it was pretty obvious that he was ready to try something
more. If you were holding him and eating
food, you would get the Jedi Mind Trick stare.
It didn't work, but that's only because he's still young.
First, we
started him on cereal mixed with a bit of formula. He wasn't really a big fan of it. Most of it ended up on his bib. There was a bit of gagging on his end, so we
scrapped that idea pretty quickly.
We tried it
again after a week, this time with the per-packaged Gerber applesauce.
It was like
the sun had broken through the clouds after a rainy day. He attacked that applesauce like there was no
tomorrow. This time, there was hardly
anything left on the bib. And he made
all kinds of happy giggles and noises.
He downed 2 ounces of it in no time flat. After realizing that he could have eaten
more, and that a 2-pack of Gerber runs anywhere from $0.90 to $1.15, I came to
the conclusion that my hearty eater needed to try something different.
For
Christmas last year, my brother bought me a Baby Bullet. It's just like the regular Magic Bullet (the
food blender, not the adult toy, you perv!) except it has cutesy little faces
on it and handy dandy 2 ounce serving cups.
I looked at it and told him how awesome it was...all the while dreading
having to try it out. While I loved the
idea of making my own baby food, I just wasn't sure if the work involved would
be worth it. After seeing how much food my
kid was putting away, I figured it was worth giving it a shot.
I absolutely
love it.
No
really. It's a lot easier than you'd
think! I started out easy—bananas. After the first batch was finished, I was
hooked. The food just looks and smells
so much better than anything you buy in the store. It's fresh, and you know exactly how fresh it
is! Since then, I've been a baby-food
making fool. So far we've had bananas,
avocado, mango, peas, green beans, cauliflower, apricots and pears. In my fridge, waiting to be blended, I have
sweet potatoes, peaches and carrots. And
best of all? He's eaten every single
thing I've put in front of him!
Getting Started
While it
surely isn't required, I definitely recommend using a blender system of one
breed or another. There are many
different ones out there—do some shopping and find the one that best suits your
needs! I have the Baby Bullet (http://www.babybullet.com/) and I really
enjoy it...however, if I were to buy another system, I would likely invest in
something like the Beaba BabyCook System (http://www.babycookstore.com.) The Beaba will steam your food and then let
you blend it up, all in the same cup! It
is a little more convenient for the super busy mom.
Once you
have your system, make sure you have plenty of storage for the food. My
Baby Bullet came with six 2 ounce cups with lids as well as a flexible freezer
safe container that will freeze an additional 12 ounces. On top of that, I bought four ice-cube
trays. Each cube in a tray is roughly an
ounce, so it's a handy way to keep track of how much food you have for your
little foodie.
Oh, and
don't forget a spatula! The Baby Bullet
comes with one (in a lovely matching puke-green color) and it's great for
getting all of the puree out of the blender.
Of course, a spoon works just as well.
Picking the Food
This
is probably the most important part of the entire process. If you choose fruits and vegetables that are
too ripe, they won't be as good (and may have even started to go rotten.) If you choose ones that aren't ripe enough,
you'll have difficulties getting a nice smooth puree. Use your best judgment! If it is something that you wouldn't eat, then
it probably isn't suitable for your little one.
This
website—http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/index.htm
– has been an amazing resource throughout this journey! You'll find some great tips on what to feed
your baby and when, how to prepare it, and how to pick the best food for
baby.
If you are
going to make your own baby food, I would suggest starting out with something
nice and easy. Bananas are about as easy
as you are going to get! You want
bananas that are ripe, preferably ones that are just starting to develop a few
black spots. These bananas will be nice
and soft and mushy, and make your job a lot easier! Don't go for green bananas—they're difficult
to blend and don't taste quite right.
Peel the
bananas and plop them into your blending device of choice. You can just use a fork and go to town, but
it is much easier on you and baby to blend them. Add water (or juice, if you prefer) to the
puree until it reaches the desired consistency.
I usually do 2 banana and ¼ cup water.
Sometimes I use pear juice, which I pop out if the little man is having
some butt problems.
There are
people who don't add any liquid to their purees and prefer to add it when the
thaw the food. Mine doesn't stay in the
freezer long enough!
Storing your baby food
Homemade
baby food will stay good in the refrigerator for three days and up to three
months in the freezer. However, it's
best to try to use your frozen food within a month for the best flavor. Every time I feed our little one a container
of the Gerber food, I keep it. When it
comes time for a massive food making extravaganza, I fill up my 6 refrigerator cups,
all of my plastic Gerber cups, and then I move onto the freezer trays. After the food is fully frozen, I pop it out
of the trays and it goes into gallon Ziploc bags with a note indicating what it
is and when it was made.
You should
not ever freeze anything that isn't made for freezing. For example, regular baby food jars aren't
freezer safe.
Frozen cubes
of food can be taken out and thawed in the fridge overnight. You can microwave the food, but be sure to
test it before feeding it to your baby!
It will cook unevenly. I have
these awesome spoons that turn white if the food is too hot for little
man—definitely worth the investment!
When I make
my baby food, I tend to do two of three different foods at a time. I will blend up whatever we have in the house
and freeze it for when he is ready to move on to trying something new. It is recommended that you wait at least four
days between introducing new foods to your baby. That gives you time to make sure he isn't
allergic or bothered by what you are giving him! Things such as cauliflower can sometimes give
babies terrible gas.
I've
discovered that with just an hour a week, I can make more than enough food to
keep my little guy rolling in the puree.
And it isn't nearly as difficult or frustrating as I thought it would
be! I love having the opportunity to
make my own baby food. It gives me
complete control over what I put in my child’s body—and it gives me the chance
to experiment on him! How many times
have you seen avocado baby food in the baby food aisle? But it's a great first baby food! And my kid absolutely loved it! Now, I keep an eye on the sales at the
grocery store. When produce that he
likes goes on sale, I snatch some up. We
also participate in the Bountiful Baskets program (http://bountifulbaskets.org/) which gives
us plenty of produce to choose from.
Our son has
shown us that he is a foodie in training.
Everything that we have given him has been promptly devoured. When he sees his brightly colored bowl with
those little cubes of joy, he squeals...and tries to rip it out of your
hands. The satisfied 'nom' noises make
me think he really enjoys eating anything and everything. Hopefully this means he won't be a picky
eater like his momma...
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tales from the Blender!
My kid is a champion eater. No, really. He loves everything we've given him so far...which is pretty damn awesome. The hope is he'll be a better eater than I am!
So far, he's had:
Applesauce--I'm not going to make my own applesauce, because it's a pain in the ass. However. I can buy a giant jug of it for $2.00, as opposed to roughly $1.00 for 4oz of it in the baby food section. Totally worth it to buy in bulk. I have taken to blending it up because it's not quite as smooth as the stuff in the baby food jars.
Bananas--He loooooves him some 'naners. He gobbles them up like nobodies business. If you are eating a banana, he'll look at you and open his mouth and make the, 'ah, ah, nom' noises until you smoosh some between your fingers for him. It's stupidly adorable! We've been eating a LOT of bananas in our house, so I tend to use the ones that are starting to get a little brown...still edible, but squishy enough that most people don't want to eat them. They work perfectly! Oh, and the baby food bananas are nasty looking! They have that fake banana look to them...yuck. But, he likes those too...and they're awfully handy when we're travelling!
Avocado--Again, he adores his avocado. The only issue I've had with this was when I cut up an avocado that wasn't quite ripe enough. The Baby Bullet had a hard time blending it, so I ended up taking a few chunks out.
Green Beans--I think next time, I need to cook these longer. They were a tad bit lumpy when I blended them. He likes these quite a bit, even if I think they're nasty.
Tonight, I made up some more food. Tomorrow, we're going to try Mango and see how he feels about that. I'm actually really excited to see how he does with it! I'm sure he'll love it...he hasn't met he a food he didn't love yet!
Yeah. I'm in love with the Baby Bullet. :) It is SUCH a convenient little thing. I really enjoy making our own food...we can still use the jar food in a pinch, but it's nice to be able to know exactly what he's eating.
So far, he's had:
Applesauce--I'm not going to make my own applesauce, because it's a pain in the ass. However. I can buy a giant jug of it for $2.00, as opposed to roughly $1.00 for 4oz of it in the baby food section. Totally worth it to buy in bulk. I have taken to blending it up because it's not quite as smooth as the stuff in the baby food jars.
Bananas--He loooooves him some 'naners. He gobbles them up like nobodies business. If you are eating a banana, he'll look at you and open his mouth and make the, 'ah, ah, nom' noises until you smoosh some between your fingers for him. It's stupidly adorable! We've been eating a LOT of bananas in our house, so I tend to use the ones that are starting to get a little brown...still edible, but squishy enough that most people don't want to eat them. They work perfectly! Oh, and the baby food bananas are nasty looking! They have that fake banana look to them...yuck. But, he likes those too...and they're awfully handy when we're travelling!
Avocado--Again, he adores his avocado. The only issue I've had with this was when I cut up an avocado that wasn't quite ripe enough. The Baby Bullet had a hard time blending it, so I ended up taking a few chunks out.
Green Beans--I think next time, I need to cook these longer. They were a tad bit lumpy when I blended them. He likes these quite a bit, even if I think they're nasty.
Tonight, I made up some more food. Tomorrow, we're going to try Mango and see how he feels about that. I'm actually really excited to see how he does with it! I'm sure he'll love it...he hasn't met he a food he didn't love yet!
Yeah. I'm in love with the Baby Bullet. :) It is SUCH a convenient little thing. I really enjoy making our own food...we can still use the jar food in a pinch, but it's nice to be able to know exactly what he's eating.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Fat kid in Training!
On Monday, we started Young Master Roland on solids. Of course, by solids, I mean rice cereal watered down with formula. Gross. He seemed to like it, though. He ate really well, actually! Most of it ended up in his belly (although there was some that ended up on his hands and face when he insisted on chewing on his fingers.) Overall, a pretty good experience.
The next few days, we fed him the watery rice cereal. He ate it, but he never seemed to be wildly excited about it.
And then this morning, we moved on to Applesauce! At first, he made a bit of a face, since it was something different. And then there was this, 'Holy Crap, this is AMAZEBALLS' look on his face. He then proceeded to eat. A lot. Like, the entire 2 1/2 oz container of it. Yeah, someone likes him some applesauce. Can't really blame him...it IS amazeballs. He was great at eating it, and hardly any of it ended up on his bib/hands/forehead. I get the feeling this shit is like GOLD to him...there will be no wasting!
After food, he ate 2oz of formula to wash it all down. He is currently in his exersaucer, bouncing around in happy, pudgy, healthy glee. I have a feeling my boy will be an excellent eater.
Oh, and before anyone tries to say anything...No, he is not yet 4 months. However, experimental little bites have shown that he was more than ready for this step. Yesterday, we were out of the house, and I forgot his cereal. He didn't eat any cereal until yesterday evening...and he didn't eat a ton of it. Yesterday? He drank 45oz of formula. With a bit of cereal in every bottle. So...yeah. It was definitely time to start the kiddo on solids. He has tolerated them amazingly well (no puking, no diarrhea, no nothing...other than wanting MOAR) and I think he is doing great. Every baby is different!
The next few days, we fed him the watery rice cereal. He ate it, but he never seemed to be wildly excited about it.
And then this morning, we moved on to Applesauce! At first, he made a bit of a face, since it was something different. And then there was this, 'Holy Crap, this is AMAZEBALLS' look on his face. He then proceeded to eat. A lot. Like, the entire 2 1/2 oz container of it. Yeah, someone likes him some applesauce. Can't really blame him...it IS amazeballs. He was great at eating it, and hardly any of it ended up on his bib/hands/forehead. I get the feeling this shit is like GOLD to him...there will be no wasting!
After food, he ate 2oz of formula to wash it all down. He is currently in his exersaucer, bouncing around in happy, pudgy, healthy glee. I have a feeling my boy will be an excellent eater.
Oh, and before anyone tries to say anything...No, he is not yet 4 months. However, experimental little bites have shown that he was more than ready for this step. Yesterday, we were out of the house, and I forgot his cereal. He didn't eat any cereal until yesterday evening...and he didn't eat a ton of it. Yesterday? He drank 45oz of formula. With a bit of cereal in every bottle. So...yeah. It was definitely time to start the kiddo on solids. He has tolerated them amazingly well (no puking, no diarrhea, no nothing...other than wanting MOAR) and I think he is doing great. Every baby is different!
An update? No way!
Well, the past three months have been kind of crazy. But I am going to attempt (though I may fail) to update the blog more often. Roland is changing so much every day, that it's hard to keep up with him! He is, however, the love of my life!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Our first ER Trip
So, yesterday, Roland's cough got much worse. By the evening, he was coughing a lot and wheezing. I steamed up the bathroom and took him in there, but it didn't help much. He was also being REALLY fussy, which is very abnormal for him. Around 10, I decided that I wanted to take him to the ER...as my mom said, better to take him when we're all awake then at 3am.
We were the only ones at the ER, so we waited less than 5 minutes before they called us back. The nurse was very nice, kept talking about how adorable Roland is, how big he is, and how well he was tolerating getting poked at. He kept flirting with her, too.
She weighed him...my kid is a whopping 14lbs,3oz. He's HUGE!
The Doctor came in and listened to his chest, heart, tummy...said everything sounded good. They tested him for RSV, which he did NOT like. Then they got him a breathing treatment, which definitely helped with the wheezing.
And then, the Dr. told me that they wanted to do a chest x-ray, just to rule out pneumonia and make sure his lungs were clear.
If I never have to put my infant through an x-ray again, it will be too soon. It was absolutely horrifying. I didn't cry, but it was really hard not to...
They sat him upright on this little seat thing, raised his arms above his head to hold his head. Then the x-ray tech strapped this hard, clear plastic tube around him. Needless to say, he did NOT like this. At all. The poor little guy screamed and screamed. It was absolutely heartbreaking...I wish it wasn't necessary, but I understand why they did it.
The x-rays were clear of anything serious and the RSV test was negative. That coupled with the fact that he didn't have a fever gave them the diagnosis of bronchialitis. Which is good, or better than it could have been. The Dr. told us that if we weren't comfortable going home, he'd admit him because he's so young, but that there wasn't anything they'd do at the hospital that we couldn't do at home. His wheezing and coughing cleared up after the breathing treatment, so we decided to go ahead and bring him home. We got a prescription for a nebulizer and albuterol, just to help him breath a little easier.
We went down this morning and rented a nebulizer and got his meds, and it really does seem to help. We're doing treatments every 3 hours, as needed, and it really is a relief to know that it makes him feel better. Today when I gave him his treatment, he actually seemed to enjoy it...he was grinning and giggling and kept trying to eat the mask or push his face into it.
Oh, and the Lincare people in Havre are amazing...they're not open on Sundays, but the guy came in especially for us so that we could get his equipment set up. He also gave us some free masks that we can pass in front of Roland's face.
Last night was very stressful for me. Roland was SO good in the hospital. Yes, he screamed during the x-ray...but I couldn't blame him one bit. It was really painful seeing my baby boy so sick...but after the hospital, I felt so much better. It was just good knowing that it wasn't anything serious, that it will pass, and that he is going to be ok.
Oh, and my kid is GIGANTIC! :)
We were the only ones at the ER, so we waited less than 5 minutes before they called us back. The nurse was very nice, kept talking about how adorable Roland is, how big he is, and how well he was tolerating getting poked at. He kept flirting with her, too.
She weighed him...my kid is a whopping 14lbs,3oz. He's HUGE!
The Doctor came in and listened to his chest, heart, tummy...said everything sounded good. They tested him for RSV, which he did NOT like. Then they got him a breathing treatment, which definitely helped with the wheezing.
And then, the Dr. told me that they wanted to do a chest x-ray, just to rule out pneumonia and make sure his lungs were clear.
If I never have to put my infant through an x-ray again, it will be too soon. It was absolutely horrifying. I didn't cry, but it was really hard not to...
They sat him upright on this little seat thing, raised his arms above his head to hold his head. Then the x-ray tech strapped this hard, clear plastic tube around him. Needless to say, he did NOT like this. At all. The poor little guy screamed and screamed. It was absolutely heartbreaking...I wish it wasn't necessary, but I understand why they did it.
The x-rays were clear of anything serious and the RSV test was negative. That coupled with the fact that he didn't have a fever gave them the diagnosis of bronchialitis. Which is good, or better than it could have been. The Dr. told us that if we weren't comfortable going home, he'd admit him because he's so young, but that there wasn't anything they'd do at the hospital that we couldn't do at home. His wheezing and coughing cleared up after the breathing treatment, so we decided to go ahead and bring him home. We got a prescription for a nebulizer and albuterol, just to help him breath a little easier.
We went down this morning and rented a nebulizer and got his meds, and it really does seem to help. We're doing treatments every 3 hours, as needed, and it really is a relief to know that it makes him feel better. Today when I gave him his treatment, he actually seemed to enjoy it...he was grinning and giggling and kept trying to eat the mask or push his face into it.
Oh, and the Lincare people in Havre are amazing...they're not open on Sundays, but the guy came in especially for us so that we could get his equipment set up. He also gave us some free masks that we can pass in front of Roland's face.
Last night was very stressful for me. Roland was SO good in the hospital. Yes, he screamed during the x-ray...but I couldn't blame him one bit. It was really painful seeing my baby boy so sick...but after the hospital, I felt so much better. It was just good knowing that it wasn't anything serious, that it will pass, and that he is going to be ok.
Oh, and my kid is GIGANTIC! :)
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
The birth story
First off--I want to warn everyone that this might be full of TMI. I just want to record everything that happened, so that I have it for myself and for Roland down the road.
Monday morning, January 2nd, I woke up at about 930 in the morning and felt like maybe something was going on. I didn't really want to get up yet, so I just kind of hung around in bed for another 15 minutes or so before dragging myself off to the bathroom. I sat down to pee and when I stood up, I just kept leaking. Repeated that a few times and then sat there, really debating whether or not my water had really just broken. I finally came to the conclusion that either my water had broken or I'd lost all control of my bladder...either way, probably something I needed to see the doctor about.
I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I decided to take my time getting to the hospital. I took a nice warm shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes (and nice thick pads to catch all the the liquid that I was still leaking) before waking up my mom and letting her know my water had broken. I sent Colin a text and then called him to let him know we'd be heading down eventually. I then proceeded to call the hospital and let them know and let all of the other important parties know what was going on. Still no contractions, so we took our time puttering around the house and getting everything together before finally heading out. Luckily, Colin's family hadn't gotten on the train to head back to Iowa yet, so his mom was able to change her ticket and stay to see the baby born.
We made our way to Havre and stopped at McDonalds--I wanted to make sure I got some real food in me, just in case they decided I couldn't eat. Headed up to the hospital and got checked in where I discovered that I was the only person on the L&D floor, and they hadn't had a New Year's baby yet! Very exciting to think I might get the first baby of the New Years, although they did warn me that there was another woman coming in that afternoon to hopefully deliver.
We got all settled in my room with our overabundance of stuff and met my Mother in Law up there. Colin got there just as I was getting comfortable in my stupidly uncomfortable bed. The nurse checked me...my water had DEFINITELY broken (again, all over everything--ew) but to my dismay...I was still only 1cm dialated. Oh, and I was still not having any contractions. The nurse told me that we'd wait 12 hours from the time my water broke, and if I wasn't having any contractions, they'd start the pitocin. Ugh. I didn't really want to go that route again, but not much choice at this stage of the game.
The nurse was going to wait to do my hep-lock, since I wouldn't need the IV for quite some time. The phlebotomist came in to try to draw blood, and I had to tell her several times that I'm a hard stick. She found one vein that she thought would be ok...and after failing to get blood, I asked her to just start the IV. I'd rather have to deal with it than have them use up all my decent veins getting blood. So I got stuck in my left hand, and it wasn't too terrible.
Not long after that, the nurse gave me some good news. She'd just gotten a hold of my Doctor! He'd just gotten back from his vacation, which meant he'd be there when Roland was born. That definitely made my day.
We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and just hanging out. I still wasn't having much in the way of contractions, which was pretty frustrating, but I stayed in good spirits. After all, I was going to go home with a baby one way or another, and that was all that mattered. The family all decided to stay up at the hospital for the night. It was nice knowing they were there, just in case we needed anything. Colin would stay in my room, and my parents took over the waiting room.
10pm rolled around and they checked me again. Still only 1cm, but I had hope that the pitocin would do it's job and get the ball really rolling. The contractions started out small, but they quickly started to feel a lot more productive than the ones I'd had the last go around. By midnight, they were getting to be fairly painful, but I kept soldiering on. I was able to nap through them without too much difficulty. By 2am, they were to the point where I was having to breath through them. I called the nurse to see if she could bring me anything, and she offered me Stadol. After checking me again, of course.
Only 1-2cm. Ugh! So she got it ordered and got it going, which definitely helped...although the stadol gave me some insane dream/hallucination type things. Like, I was stuck in some kind of giant flea market that was filled with decorating items from the 80's. It was pretty bizarre. The medicine didn't take the contractions away, but it took the edge off enough that I was able to nap a bit.
By the time 4am rolled around, things were getting pretty heavy. The drugs had worn off, and the contractions were really rough. Breathing through them is harder than it sounds, and I was having a hard time focusing. It didn't help that I was exhausted and frustrated. Finally, I asked the nurse if I could get another dose...and she told me I'd have to wait. The stadol makes the baby sleepy, so we had to get at least 20 minutes of good action from him on the monitor before she could think about giving me another dose...which meant I had to lie very still in the bed, as every time I moved we'd lose him on the monitor. I hated to call them, so I was there closer to 40 minutes...half way through I woke Colin up in tears because it hurt too bad, and I just didn't want to deal with it alone. He's wonderful and tried to get me to breath through them and comfort me...I didn't really want to be touched or talked to, I just wanted someone there. Eventually, he went and got the nurse and she came in to check me again.
2-3cm. The slow progression was killing me. At this point she gave me a choice--get another dose of stadol or get an epidural. By now, it was almost 5 and a total no-brainer. I wanted the epidural, as soon as humanly possible. She told me she'd call the anesthesiologist...I had to ask if I could get a shot of stadol in the meantime. I thought it was going to be a lengthy wait for him, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had Colin go and get my mom and let her know what was happening, and she came in and petted my hair and tried to make my feel better.
The anesthesiologist got there pretty quickly. He was an awfully welcome sight by this point. They got me up and to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
Now, when a good friend of mine had her baby a few years ago, I got to be there when she had her epidural. I thought I was totally prepared for this thing. I was oh so wrong...
First, they raised my bed way up so that my feet were dangling. I felt like I was going to fall off the edge of the bed. I was going to ask if I could have Colin stand in front of me for support, but I was worried that I'd squirm too much or cling onto him. Once I was good and dangled, he asked me to tuck my chin to my chest and my elbows in and bow my back out as far as I could. Not an easy task when you're stupidly pregnant and in lots of pain!
He gave me a shot to numb the area, and I thought after that it would be a breeze. Well, it turns out that my being a hard stick for IVs and blood draws carries through to epidurals.
It took us about 25 minutes to get the epidural in and situated where it should be. There was a lot of gasping and crying and trying desperately to not squirm or jump off the bed on my part. Dr. Dave though...he did a great job. Well, the best he could with me, at least! It hurt. A lot. I was supposed to feel an electric tingle up and down one of my legs, but I never really felt it. I did feel it up and down my spine though, which I guess was good enough for him. The worst part was the clicking...I don't know WHAT it was, but he would push the needle in and there was this clicking noise...it made me feel like my spine was going to explode.
Eventually, he was able to get it in there and he gave me a shot which almost immediately calmed my contractions to the point where I wasn't feeling them. There were lots of questions about ringing in my ears and pins in my toes...at that point though, I didn't really care, because the pain was done. Having my mom and Colin there, even if I wasn't holding their hands, was definitely a great help. There were lots of encouraging words that helped keep me from having a total meltdown. I was almost positive during it all that he wasn't going to be able to make it work, and he would leave having dug around in my spine and without me having any medication to help me through it. I think I might have just curled up and died right then and there. After he was all done, he did tell me that it was pretty rough for him too...I felt bad that he had to work so hard for it! Afterwards, the nurse helped get me into bed and get situated, and I almost immediately started feeling nauseous.
I swallowed it down for a few minutes, and then said something. The nurse at the time was doing something, and asked Colin to grab a bag for me. He obviously learned during my pregnancy, as he sprang into action to fetch me an emesis bag...but was just a bit too slow. There was explosive vomit. All over the place. My bed and my gown and my nice new nursing bra...the blood pressure cuff, the tubing to my IV, and the tubing for my epidural. Oh, not to mention, all over the floor and the nurse. Joy.
I did what I always do when I throw up. I started to cry and apologize profusely. Although, it made me feel a lot better! They got me a shot of Zofran and set about cleaning me up. After lots of damp paper towels, a fresh gown, and fresh sheets, I started to feel human again. Unfortunately, because I 'd already gotten the epidural, they had to change the bed with me in it. Fortunately, the drugs had kicked in by this point, so I was happy and just didn't care.
The anesthesiologist came back in after I was all cleaned up and took some time to explain everything to me. He made sure to tell me that my puking wasn't his fault, and that many women he sees get sick when they transition...not because of the drugs, but because of their bodies. I wasn't really caring at that point, but I made it a point to tell him how much I appreciated him and that he was my best friend. His comment was something along the lines of, 'Well, you weren't easy to get at all, but I'm glad it worked.'
At this point, I promptly passed out. I got some really good sleep until about 830 and then kept on dozing for another hour or so. I woke up a few times when the nurses came in, but I didn't stay awake. I could still feel pressure when I would have a contraction, but it wasn't painful at all. The sleep was absolutely glorious, as I had a feeling I'd be at this for a very long time. The Dr. came in around 930 to check me and talk about my progress.
5cm. Some progress, but not enough to make me happy. I was frustrated that I'd been doing this for 12 hours, and had only gotten that far. He told me that we'd keep trying to do it naturally as long as there was no sign of infection, and that he was sure we'd have some action, but that it would be several hours. He was thinking I wouldn't be having a baby until sometime that afternoon or evening. After a little pow-wow with my family, my dad decided to head into work for a few hours since their job was just a few blocks away and the grandma's decided to head home for a shower and a change and some relaxing time. The Dr. agreed that they'd have a few hours, and since it had taken me 12 hours to get 5cm, we all figured that we'd have plenty of time.
Colin took off with my dad to get coffee. He was considering heading to the farm for a shower, but he opted to just have coffee instead and maybe steal my tub in the afternoon. Turns out that was a very good choice on his part!
At 1015 or so, after everyone had taken off and I had some alone time, I finally decided I should try to go to the bathroom. I'd been holding it for awhile...I hate bedside commodes (which was one of only a few options for me after the epidural) and I was kind of terrified that they'd need to do a catheter. I'm silly, so I just ignored it for a few hours. Finally I called the nurses, and they both came in to help me...which also made me feel silly, since I really was having no issues at all getting up and getting on. I'm pretty sure I could have just walked to the bathroom, but that was a big no-go.
At this point, I was feeling pressure from contractions but no pain. My feet and legs were a bit tingly but I could still move them just fine. My hips, thighs, lower back, and butt were all numb, but not so much that I couldn't still move and get around. Sadly, this didn't really make that damn bed any more comfortable to lay in...
Peeing was a bit difficult, but I soldiered through that and we got me settled back into bed. I proceeded to pull out my netbook and nook to try to distract myself from what would surely be a long ordeal. By about 1030, I was feeling some different pressure, like I really, really had to poop. I've had a lot of constipation throughout the pregnancy, and it just felt like I was really constipated (which, since I hadn't pooped in a few days, was definitely the case) and really, really had to go. I tried to ignore it for awhile, justifying it in my mind as, 'I'll poop when the baby gets here...I really just don't want to deal with the commode or people having to help me...' After another 10 minutes or so, I couldn't ignore it anymore so I called the nurses.
I explained to them that I have had a lot of constipation, and practically begged them to let me go to the regular toilet rather than the commode. No go. I then proceeded to beg for a stool softener, perhaps. Also, no go. Grudgingly I climbed onto the commode and tried to make something happen. No luck...
The nurse came in a few times to check on me. She asked me if I was sure I needed to poop or if the baby was just moving down, but I assured her that I was just constipated. On her second trip in, she told me that she wanted to check me again, and then if I was still only at 5cm, she'd see if the Dr. would order an enema for me. I was just relieved that there might be some help, so I was more than happy to comply. She got me in bed and settled back and got her gloves on to check me.
Colin walked in right around this time, just in time for him to hear the nurse pronounce, 'Oh! You're complete. And there is the head.' She ripped off the gloves and washed her hands and sprang into action like some kind of mad woman. I just kind of blinked at her and said, "So what does that mean?"
"Well, it means we're going to get ready to have your baby."
It was 11am at this point, and my mind kind of went, 'Oh. Shit.' I mean, I'd prepared for this for a long time...but being faced with it was an entirely different story. I told Colin to start calling people and I started calling people as the nurses started bringing stuff in. I was still feeling the pressure, but I was more worried with making sure everyone knew what was happening. At one point, I think the nurse got a little annoyed that I was on the phone talking through my contractions. hehe, ooops! The nurse made sure to inform us that I could be pushing for as long as 2 hours.
We got the bed ready and my feet up in the stirrups and the nurse checked me again, at which point she told me I definitely would not be pushing for 2 hours. Seems the baby was right there and ready to go. Unfortunately, we were still missing the Doctor! They had paged him and he was changing and getting over there as soon as he could. At this point, the nurses were telling me to just breath through the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't really understand that they meant they didn't want me to push as well as breath...
At 1115 or so, the Dr. came rushing into the room. Through this I had been pushing and the nurses were both telling me how good I was doing. The Dr. didn't even have time to get his stool. He took one look at me and said, "Ok. I think this next push you're going to have a baby!" Let me tell you...if that isn't incentive to give one hell of a push, then nothing is. The bed, while very uncomfortable to sleep in, was pretty much amazing for the whole birthing thing. There were handles that I could grab onto while I was pushing...while it was imperative that Colin be there, it was a lot easier for me to grab something immobile rather than someones hand.
At 1120, after one big last push, Roland was born. All I remember was a ton of pressure, lots of me yelling and making noise, and then a huge feeling of relief when the head was out. It only took a few moments and he was squalling. I was crying and laughing and staring at this beautiful baby and practically falling out of the bed because I was shaking so hard from the endorphins. All I could do was stare at my baby boy, as the nurse cleaned him up and he screamed bloody murder. Colin was taking pictures, and as soon as he gave Roland a finger to grip, the little guy quieted down enough to get himself cleaned up. The Dr. delivered the placenta, which I barely even felt...it was another moment of, 'pressure...ooohhh, relief, yay it's done!'
After that came the really hard part. It only lasted a few minutes, but I'm pretty sure it was more painful than the labor itself. I had 2nd degree tears and the Dr. set about stitching me up. He numbed me, and I still had the epidural (which I gave myself extra of after the nurse reminded me I could) but it still hurt like a bitch. I kept crying and laughing and looking at my baby. I knew they wanted to get me cleaned up as quickly as possible so I could hold him, but man it was hard to not get him immediately.
So, in 2 hours I went from being 5cm dialated, 0 station...to holding my son in my arms. I pushed for less than 20 minutes. The grandmas missed being there which was sad for me, but I really couldn't do anything about that. My dad got to the hospital in time, but he waited outside the room...he could hear me and he could hear when Roland was born. I was really, really, really glad that Colin was there. He was amazing while I was pushing...he petted my hair and told me how amazing I was doing, but he still gave me the physical space that I needed. All of the nurses and the Dr. were very surprised that it went as easily as it did. We were all expecting a very difficult labor for me, after the first part had been so rough. He weighed in at 8lbs11oz and measured 20.5". All of the nurses remarked at how big he was and how adorable.
Afterwards, I felt amazing. I was tired, but not overly so. I was riding high on everything that I'd experienced. I wasn't hurting too bad, I was just completely thrilled by our baby boy. And he was just amazing. He snuggled right up to us both and just completely caught us up. He is sweet and adorable and just unbelievable. After he was born, all of the nurses who came in to see me remarked about how good I looked for having just given birth to such a big baby. When I saw my Dr. the following morning, his comment was, 'Well, aren't YOU looking perky.' I felt good and I still do, though I'm definitely tired.
I won't lie--it was hard. It was painful and it was rough and at some points I really just wanted to give up. But at the end of the day, I was given an amazing gift. Even though parts of it were really hard, I would absolutely do it again in a heartbeat. We will definitely wait a few years before having our next one...but would be thrilled to do it all again.
Monday morning, January 2nd, I woke up at about 930 in the morning and felt like maybe something was going on. I didn't really want to get up yet, so I just kind of hung around in bed for another 15 minutes or so before dragging myself off to the bathroom. I sat down to pee and when I stood up, I just kept leaking. Repeated that a few times and then sat there, really debating whether or not my water had really just broken. I finally came to the conclusion that either my water had broken or I'd lost all control of my bladder...either way, probably something I needed to see the doctor about.
I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I decided to take my time getting to the hospital. I took a nice warm shower and got dressed in comfortable clothes (and nice thick pads to catch all the the liquid that I was still leaking) before waking up my mom and letting her know my water had broken. I sent Colin a text and then called him to let him know we'd be heading down eventually. I then proceeded to call the hospital and let them know and let all of the other important parties know what was going on. Still no contractions, so we took our time puttering around the house and getting everything together before finally heading out. Luckily, Colin's family hadn't gotten on the train to head back to Iowa yet, so his mom was able to change her ticket and stay to see the baby born.
We made our way to Havre and stopped at McDonalds--I wanted to make sure I got some real food in me, just in case they decided I couldn't eat. Headed up to the hospital and got checked in where I discovered that I was the only person on the L&D floor, and they hadn't had a New Year's baby yet! Very exciting to think I might get the first baby of the New Years, although they did warn me that there was another woman coming in that afternoon to hopefully deliver.
We got all settled in my room with our overabundance of stuff and met my Mother in Law up there. Colin got there just as I was getting comfortable in my stupidly uncomfortable bed. The nurse checked me...my water had DEFINITELY broken (again, all over everything--ew) but to my dismay...I was still only 1cm dialated. Oh, and I was still not having any contractions. The nurse told me that we'd wait 12 hours from the time my water broke, and if I wasn't having any contractions, they'd start the pitocin. Ugh. I didn't really want to go that route again, but not much choice at this stage of the game.
The nurse was going to wait to do my hep-lock, since I wouldn't need the IV for quite some time. The phlebotomist came in to try to draw blood, and I had to tell her several times that I'm a hard stick. She found one vein that she thought would be ok...and after failing to get blood, I asked her to just start the IV. I'd rather have to deal with it than have them use up all my decent veins getting blood. So I got stuck in my left hand, and it wasn't too terrible.
Not long after that, the nurse gave me some good news. She'd just gotten a hold of my Doctor! He'd just gotten back from his vacation, which meant he'd be there when Roland was born. That definitely made my day.
We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and just hanging out. I still wasn't having much in the way of contractions, which was pretty frustrating, but I stayed in good spirits. After all, I was going to go home with a baby one way or another, and that was all that mattered. The family all decided to stay up at the hospital for the night. It was nice knowing they were there, just in case we needed anything. Colin would stay in my room, and my parents took over the waiting room.
10pm rolled around and they checked me again. Still only 1cm, but I had hope that the pitocin would do it's job and get the ball really rolling. The contractions started out small, but they quickly started to feel a lot more productive than the ones I'd had the last go around. By midnight, they were getting to be fairly painful, but I kept soldiering on. I was able to nap through them without too much difficulty. By 2am, they were to the point where I was having to breath through them. I called the nurse to see if she could bring me anything, and she offered me Stadol. After checking me again, of course.
Only 1-2cm. Ugh! So she got it ordered and got it going, which definitely helped...although the stadol gave me some insane dream/hallucination type things. Like, I was stuck in some kind of giant flea market that was filled with decorating items from the 80's. It was pretty bizarre. The medicine didn't take the contractions away, but it took the edge off enough that I was able to nap a bit.
By the time 4am rolled around, things were getting pretty heavy. The drugs had worn off, and the contractions were really rough. Breathing through them is harder than it sounds, and I was having a hard time focusing. It didn't help that I was exhausted and frustrated. Finally, I asked the nurse if I could get another dose...and she told me I'd have to wait. The stadol makes the baby sleepy, so we had to get at least 20 minutes of good action from him on the monitor before she could think about giving me another dose...which meant I had to lie very still in the bed, as every time I moved we'd lose him on the monitor. I hated to call them, so I was there closer to 40 minutes...half way through I woke Colin up in tears because it hurt too bad, and I just didn't want to deal with it alone. He's wonderful and tried to get me to breath through them and comfort me...I didn't really want to be touched or talked to, I just wanted someone there. Eventually, he went and got the nurse and she came in to check me again.
2-3cm. The slow progression was killing me. At this point she gave me a choice--get another dose of stadol or get an epidural. By now, it was almost 5 and a total no-brainer. I wanted the epidural, as soon as humanly possible. She told me she'd call the anesthesiologist...I had to ask if I could get a shot of stadol in the meantime. I thought it was going to be a lengthy wait for him, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had Colin go and get my mom and let her know what was happening, and she came in and petted my hair and tried to make my feel better.
The anesthesiologist got there pretty quickly. He was an awfully welcome sight by this point. They got me up and to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
Now, when a good friend of mine had her baby a few years ago, I got to be there when she had her epidural. I thought I was totally prepared for this thing. I was oh so wrong...
First, they raised my bed way up so that my feet were dangling. I felt like I was going to fall off the edge of the bed. I was going to ask if I could have Colin stand in front of me for support, but I was worried that I'd squirm too much or cling onto him. Once I was good and dangled, he asked me to tuck my chin to my chest and my elbows in and bow my back out as far as I could. Not an easy task when you're stupidly pregnant and in lots of pain!
He gave me a shot to numb the area, and I thought after that it would be a breeze. Well, it turns out that my being a hard stick for IVs and blood draws carries through to epidurals.
It took us about 25 minutes to get the epidural in and situated where it should be. There was a lot of gasping and crying and trying desperately to not squirm or jump off the bed on my part. Dr. Dave though...he did a great job. Well, the best he could with me, at least! It hurt. A lot. I was supposed to feel an electric tingle up and down one of my legs, but I never really felt it. I did feel it up and down my spine though, which I guess was good enough for him. The worst part was the clicking...I don't know WHAT it was, but he would push the needle in and there was this clicking noise...it made me feel like my spine was going to explode.
Eventually, he was able to get it in there and he gave me a shot which almost immediately calmed my contractions to the point where I wasn't feeling them. There were lots of questions about ringing in my ears and pins in my toes...at that point though, I didn't really care, because the pain was done. Having my mom and Colin there, even if I wasn't holding their hands, was definitely a great help. There were lots of encouraging words that helped keep me from having a total meltdown. I was almost positive during it all that he wasn't going to be able to make it work, and he would leave having dug around in my spine and without me having any medication to help me through it. I think I might have just curled up and died right then and there. After he was all done, he did tell me that it was pretty rough for him too...I felt bad that he had to work so hard for it! Afterwards, the nurse helped get me into bed and get situated, and I almost immediately started feeling nauseous.
I swallowed it down for a few minutes, and then said something. The nurse at the time was doing something, and asked Colin to grab a bag for me. He obviously learned during my pregnancy, as he sprang into action to fetch me an emesis bag...but was just a bit too slow. There was explosive vomit. All over the place. My bed and my gown and my nice new nursing bra...the blood pressure cuff, the tubing to my IV, and the tubing for my epidural. Oh, not to mention, all over the floor and the nurse. Joy.
I did what I always do when I throw up. I started to cry and apologize profusely. Although, it made me feel a lot better! They got me a shot of Zofran and set about cleaning me up. After lots of damp paper towels, a fresh gown, and fresh sheets, I started to feel human again. Unfortunately, because I 'd already gotten the epidural, they had to change the bed with me in it. Fortunately, the drugs had kicked in by this point, so I was happy and just didn't care.
The anesthesiologist came back in after I was all cleaned up and took some time to explain everything to me. He made sure to tell me that my puking wasn't his fault, and that many women he sees get sick when they transition...not because of the drugs, but because of their bodies. I wasn't really caring at that point, but I made it a point to tell him how much I appreciated him and that he was my best friend. His comment was something along the lines of, 'Well, you weren't easy to get at all, but I'm glad it worked.'
At this point, I promptly passed out. I got some really good sleep until about 830 and then kept on dozing for another hour or so. I woke up a few times when the nurses came in, but I didn't stay awake. I could still feel pressure when I would have a contraction, but it wasn't painful at all. The sleep was absolutely glorious, as I had a feeling I'd be at this for a very long time. The Dr. came in around 930 to check me and talk about my progress.
5cm. Some progress, but not enough to make me happy. I was frustrated that I'd been doing this for 12 hours, and had only gotten that far. He told me that we'd keep trying to do it naturally as long as there was no sign of infection, and that he was sure we'd have some action, but that it would be several hours. He was thinking I wouldn't be having a baby until sometime that afternoon or evening. After a little pow-wow with my family, my dad decided to head into work for a few hours since their job was just a few blocks away and the grandma's decided to head home for a shower and a change and some relaxing time. The Dr. agreed that they'd have a few hours, and since it had taken me 12 hours to get 5cm, we all figured that we'd have plenty of time.
Colin took off with my dad to get coffee. He was considering heading to the farm for a shower, but he opted to just have coffee instead and maybe steal my tub in the afternoon. Turns out that was a very good choice on his part!
At 1015 or so, after everyone had taken off and I had some alone time, I finally decided I should try to go to the bathroom. I'd been holding it for awhile...I hate bedside commodes (which was one of only a few options for me after the epidural) and I was kind of terrified that they'd need to do a catheter. I'm silly, so I just ignored it for a few hours. Finally I called the nurses, and they both came in to help me...which also made me feel silly, since I really was having no issues at all getting up and getting on. I'm pretty sure I could have just walked to the bathroom, but that was a big no-go.
At this point, I was feeling pressure from contractions but no pain. My feet and legs were a bit tingly but I could still move them just fine. My hips, thighs, lower back, and butt were all numb, but not so much that I couldn't still move and get around. Sadly, this didn't really make that damn bed any more comfortable to lay in...
Peeing was a bit difficult, but I soldiered through that and we got me settled back into bed. I proceeded to pull out my netbook and nook to try to distract myself from what would surely be a long ordeal. By about 1030, I was feeling some different pressure, like I really, really had to poop. I've had a lot of constipation throughout the pregnancy, and it just felt like I was really constipated (which, since I hadn't pooped in a few days, was definitely the case) and really, really had to go. I tried to ignore it for awhile, justifying it in my mind as, 'I'll poop when the baby gets here...I really just don't want to deal with the commode or people having to help me...' After another 10 minutes or so, I couldn't ignore it anymore so I called the nurses.
I explained to them that I have had a lot of constipation, and practically begged them to let me go to the regular toilet rather than the commode. No go. I then proceeded to beg for a stool softener, perhaps. Also, no go. Grudgingly I climbed onto the commode and tried to make something happen. No luck...
The nurse came in a few times to check on me. She asked me if I was sure I needed to poop or if the baby was just moving down, but I assured her that I was just constipated. On her second trip in, she told me that she wanted to check me again, and then if I was still only at 5cm, she'd see if the Dr. would order an enema for me. I was just relieved that there might be some help, so I was more than happy to comply. She got me in bed and settled back and got her gloves on to check me.
Colin walked in right around this time, just in time for him to hear the nurse pronounce, 'Oh! You're complete. And there is the head.' She ripped off the gloves and washed her hands and sprang into action like some kind of mad woman. I just kind of blinked at her and said, "So what does that mean?"
"Well, it means we're going to get ready to have your baby."
It was 11am at this point, and my mind kind of went, 'Oh. Shit.' I mean, I'd prepared for this for a long time...but being faced with it was an entirely different story. I told Colin to start calling people and I started calling people as the nurses started bringing stuff in. I was still feeling the pressure, but I was more worried with making sure everyone knew what was happening. At one point, I think the nurse got a little annoyed that I was on the phone talking through my contractions. hehe, ooops! The nurse made sure to inform us that I could be pushing for as long as 2 hours.
We got the bed ready and my feet up in the stirrups and the nurse checked me again, at which point she told me I definitely would not be pushing for 2 hours. Seems the baby was right there and ready to go. Unfortunately, we were still missing the Doctor! They had paged him and he was changing and getting over there as soon as he could. At this point, the nurses were telling me to just breath through the contractions and the urge to push. I didn't really understand that they meant they didn't want me to push as well as breath...
At 1115 or so, the Dr. came rushing into the room. Through this I had been pushing and the nurses were both telling me how good I was doing. The Dr. didn't even have time to get his stool. He took one look at me and said, "Ok. I think this next push you're going to have a baby!" Let me tell you...if that isn't incentive to give one hell of a push, then nothing is. The bed, while very uncomfortable to sleep in, was pretty much amazing for the whole birthing thing. There were handles that I could grab onto while I was pushing...while it was imperative that Colin be there, it was a lot easier for me to grab something immobile rather than someones hand.
At 1120, after one big last push, Roland was born. All I remember was a ton of pressure, lots of me yelling and making noise, and then a huge feeling of relief when the head was out. It only took a few moments and he was squalling. I was crying and laughing and staring at this beautiful baby and practically falling out of the bed because I was shaking so hard from the endorphins. All I could do was stare at my baby boy, as the nurse cleaned him up and he screamed bloody murder. Colin was taking pictures, and as soon as he gave Roland a finger to grip, the little guy quieted down enough to get himself cleaned up. The Dr. delivered the placenta, which I barely even felt...it was another moment of, 'pressure...ooohhh, relief, yay it's done!'
After that came the really hard part. It only lasted a few minutes, but I'm pretty sure it was more painful than the labor itself. I had 2nd degree tears and the Dr. set about stitching me up. He numbed me, and I still had the epidural (which I gave myself extra of after the nurse reminded me I could) but it still hurt like a bitch. I kept crying and laughing and looking at my baby. I knew they wanted to get me cleaned up as quickly as possible so I could hold him, but man it was hard to not get him immediately.
So, in 2 hours I went from being 5cm dialated, 0 station...to holding my son in my arms. I pushed for less than 20 minutes. The grandmas missed being there which was sad for me, but I really couldn't do anything about that. My dad got to the hospital in time, but he waited outside the room...he could hear me and he could hear when Roland was born. I was really, really, really glad that Colin was there. He was amazing while I was pushing...he petted my hair and told me how amazing I was doing, but he still gave me the physical space that I needed. All of the nurses and the Dr. were very surprised that it went as easily as it did. We were all expecting a very difficult labor for me, after the first part had been so rough. He weighed in at 8lbs11oz and measured 20.5". All of the nurses remarked at how big he was and how adorable.
Afterwards, I felt amazing. I was tired, but not overly so. I was riding high on everything that I'd experienced. I wasn't hurting too bad, I was just completely thrilled by our baby boy. And he was just amazing. He snuggled right up to us both and just completely caught us up. He is sweet and adorable and just unbelievable. After he was born, all of the nurses who came in to see me remarked about how good I looked for having just given birth to such a big baby. When I saw my Dr. the following morning, his comment was, 'Well, aren't YOU looking perky.' I felt good and I still do, though I'm definitely tired.
I won't lie--it was hard. It was painful and it was rough and at some points I really just wanted to give up. But at the end of the day, I was given an amazing gift. Even though parts of it were really hard, I would absolutely do it again in a heartbeat. We will definitely wait a few years before having our next one...but would be thrilled to do it all again.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Today...
Our son was born. Words cannot express how amazing that feels to say. I'm watching Colin right now, cuddling Roland, and the two of them look so very content. Roland has been an amazing baby thus far...he cried when he was born, and since then, he has only cried when he was having various tests done. We have cuddled him all day long, though the real test will be tonight.
I might be just a tad biased, but he is the most amazing and most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He is gorgeous, with big DARK blue eyes bordering on violet, dirty blonde hair with no eyebrows (just like momma,) his daddy's chin and his mommy's nose. He has HUGE feet and tiny little toes. He weighed in at 8lbs, 11oz and 20.5" long. He has huge chunky legs and an adorable chunky butt. He is perfect.
I will be writing the birth story up shortly. It's going to be long, and it will be filled with TMI...so if you don't want to know the gory details, then you can avoid it. I had a rough couple of days, but the end result was so worth it. I wouldn't trade it away for anything in the world...
I am so happy, and I am so very blessed. I've no idea what I did to deserve such a beautiful family, but I am so happy to have them.
I might be just a tad biased, but he is the most amazing and most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He is gorgeous, with big DARK blue eyes bordering on violet, dirty blonde hair with no eyebrows (just like momma,) his daddy's chin and his mommy's nose. He has HUGE feet and tiny little toes. He weighed in at 8lbs, 11oz and 20.5" long. He has huge chunky legs and an adorable chunky butt. He is perfect.
I will be writing the birth story up shortly. It's going to be long, and it will be filled with TMI...so if you don't want to know the gory details, then you can avoid it. I had a rough couple of days, but the end result was so worth it. I wouldn't trade it away for anything in the world...
I am so happy, and I am so very blessed. I've no idea what I did to deserve such a beautiful family, but I am so happy to have them.
Today was hands down the most amazing day of my life. I am currently exhausted after a hard night last night and Roland's big arrival today.
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been supportive of us throughout this pregnancy, especially the past few weeks when things have been difficult. Your words of encouragement, good thoughts and prayers have helped us get through it all. There are not enough words to convey how it feels to know that there are so many people pulling for us.
Mostly, I want to thank my husband. His support and love helped me get through everything, even when I didn't think I could do it.
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been supportive of us throughout this pregnancy, especially the past few weeks when things have been difficult. Your words of encouragement, good thoughts and prayers have helped us get through it all. There are not enough words to convey how it feels to know that there are so many people pulling for us.
Mostly, I want to thank my husband. His support and love helped me get through everything, even when I didn't think I could do it.
Baby Watch 2012
Baby Watch 2012:
I caved. Epidural ordered, should be here soon. Contractions getting pretty rough.
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2
Monday, January 2, 2012
Baby Watch 2012
Things are going really well. Not much in the way of contractions yet, but we're trucking on. We will start pitocin at about 10 if we don't see much action.
Squee!!! Can't wait to meet our baby boy!!!!
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2
Baby Watch 2012:
Baby Watch 2011:
In other good news, my doctor got back from vacation about an hour ago, and will be here to deliver Roland.
And here we were sure he'd miss it! Win!
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2
Baby Watch 2012
Baby Watch 2012:
Water broke about 30 minutes ago. I'm not having much in the way of contractions, so we're kind of puttering around here. I took a shower, Mom and Chas are going to shower and eat, and then we'll head up to the hospital. I'm feeling pretty calm at this point, though I know it could be a long wait.
Ok...now...THIS trip to the hospital WILL result in a baby! :) YAY!!!
Oh, and yes...I did take the time to check Castleville...didn't want my cabbage to die on me...
Water broke about 30 minutes ago. I'm not having much in the way of contractions, so we're kind of puttering around here. I took a shower, Mom and Chas are going to shower and eat, and then we'll head up to the hospital. I'm feeling pretty calm at this point, though I know it could be a long wait.
Ok...now...THIS trip to the hospital WILL result in a baby! :) YAY!!!
Oh, and yes...I did take the time to check Castleville...didn't want my cabbage to die on me...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)