Blessings

There is something amazing about watching a child grow and change right before your eyes.  It's like he learns something new every day.  Precious moments slip away.  It seems like just yesterday, he was a tiny (ok, relatively tiny, let's be honest here, my kid has always been a monster...) infant all curled up against my chest with the sweetest coos and gurgles.  Sometimes there are still moments of that tiny baby when he comes up to me and curls up and puts his head on my chest, but they become more and more infrequent.  Soon, I'll be lucky to get hugs and kisses let along long cuddly moments.

Today, he was sitting on my moms lap, and he leaned over and smacked her on the cheek.  Pretty hard too. So, of course, she said no and tapped him on his cheek.  He stopped and he just stared at her.  He sat there for probably five minutes, just looking at her, really debating what he was going to do.  You could see the little wheels turning in his head.  Eventually he tried to pop her again and then loved on her, but it was pretty funny watching him really consider his options there.  Of course, he decided to hit again, but we're getting there.

It's awesome watching him grow up.  I love watching him learn and change and grow.  He's such an amazing little boy, and he brings me so much joy.  At the same time, it breaks my heart just a little.  Those baby months are already long gone.  We're firmly in the toddler arena now.  The child he is now is such a blessing, but I do sometimes long for the quiet moments of babyhood.

Watching him grown really drives home how important it is to live each day in the moment.  Life goes by so quickly, things change so quickly.  Don't put things off until tomorrow, because you just don't know what tomorrow might hold.  It's like...I lived in Colorado for four years.  In four years, I never once made it up to Pikes Peak.  Tried once, realized how expensive it was and that I was broke, drove back.  I never went to Cave of the Winds.  I never went to Royal Gorge.  There are so many amazing things that I just never did and I really regret that.

I don't want to have regrets when it comes to my children.  I don't want to look back on this time in five years and kick myself for not doing something.  There are things I'm going to be sad that I didn't do, like make more homemade baby food, or breastfeed longer, or whatever...but I don't want regrets when it comes to Roland.  During our time together, I try to make sure I am interacting with him and there for him and playing with him.  More than anything, I want him to know how very loved he is.

I am so blessed.  I have a husband who is a wonderful father and partner, who keeps me grounded and helps me through the hard times.  I have a family that is fantastic and has been supportive and loving.  I have friends who are amazing and always make me laugh and brighten my day.  And I have my son, who is the light of my life, no matter how obnoxious he may be acting.  He is my favorite part of every day.