Chaos

There are times that I sit and look at my son, and I almost can't believe that he's mine.  I mean, obviously, I know he's my kid--labor was easy, but it wasn't THAT easy--but my brain still has a hard time accepting the fact that I'm a mom.  Those moments usually come when he's being amazing.  When he's talking, or laughing, or playing in a new and exciting way.

Then he hauls off and pinches the crap out of my arm, or bites me, or crawls up into my lap and starts crying for no reason and I realize.  Oh yeah.  He's totally my kid...

I'm blessed, because all things considered, Roland is an easy kid.  He's happy and cheerful, and he's a total snuggly lover.  He is stubborn as hell, though, which is definitely going to make life interesting when he's a teenager.  He loves the animals and he loves to wander around the living room and talk.  And he refuses to listen when you tell him to not climb onto the furniture where I always envision plummeting to his untimely death.  He doesn't like sitting in dead grass but boy does he love playing on my computer.  The way he grows and changes is totally thrilling, and sometimes, completely frustrating.

In short: my little boy is absolutely perfect.

It isn't easy.  It's never easy in our house.  There is crying and there are fits and there are stubborn boy moments.  There is playing in things he shouldn't play in and stealing the remote control and giggling with glee as he makes his great escape.  It isn't easy, but it's beautiful, and it's always fun.  Even when he's whiny and clingy and frustrating, it's still fun.  For all of the things in my life that frustrate me in my life, there is one thing that I wouldn't change for the world.

It's not an easy life, but it's our life, and it's perfect.  Despite the chaos.