Not ok...

I want you to watch a video.  And if you are anything like me, it's going to be hard for you to stomach.  You might want to throw things or hit a pillow or cry.  But it's important to watch it anyway.

http://www.upworthy.com/cnn-pays-touching-tribute-to-the-rapists-who-attacked-a-16-year-old-girl

Where are the videos about the girl?  Where is the CNN tribute about how her life has been irrevocably changed due to the drunken stupidity of her classmates?  Where is her story, and where are the people who support her and love her and tell her that it's never going to be ok...but that life will eventually go on.

I'm furious about this.  I have righteous mommy rage over this.

Watching this video...well, the first boy didn't really seem terribly apologetic.  He apologized for taking the pictures and for them sitting around...he didn't really apologize for RAPING THE GIRL.  The second boy, yeah, his apology seemed a lot more heartfelt.  And I'm going to believe that, rather than assuming that he's just a good actor.  Yes, these boys are young, and their lives are going to be changed forever.  They are always going to carry this stigma with them.  Will it ruin their lives?  Perhaps.  If they let it.

Do they deserve it?  All of this and more?

You bet your fucking ass they do.

Actions have consequences.  It doesn't matter that they were all drunk and stupid...they should have stopped. Someone should have stopped them.  I read through many of the text messages and twitter posts that were sent the night of the rape and they're just...horrible.  There were some half-hearted attempts to stop this poor girls rape...but why didn't anyone call the cops?  Why didn't anyone go find their friends and force them to stop this?  Why did they let it go on?

Why didn't their parents teach them better than that?

I can't even imagine the heartache that the parents are feeling.  The parents of the victim as they watch their daughter go through something no one should have to endure, and the parents of the assailants, as they watch their children's lives fall apart, and wonder where they went wrong.  As a mother, my heart breaks for all of the people involved.  Yes, even the assailants.

Why don't more parents teach their sons that this is NOT OK.  Touching a girl, touching anyone, without their permission is NOT OK.  I'll never preach 'no sex before marriage' to my kids.  But I will absolutely make sure that they understand the repercussions of their actions.  Our sons--and our daughters--need to know that this is not ok.  Getting a girl drunk, taking her picture, and raping her...is not ok.  And the girl is not a whore because she gets raped.

It just...boggles my mind.  My heart breaks for this poor girl.  Not only was she violated, but all of her peers hate her.

Roland will be better than this.  And if he sees something like this happening, he'll stand up for the victim.  Because that is the way that we will raise our son.

I weep for a world where it's ok to blame the victim, and it's acceptable for news briefs to focus on the tragedy that the RAPISTS have lost out on their future.  That is not ok.  CNN, this is not ok.  What the hell kind of message are you sending here?